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" Animals are sentient, intelligent, perceptive, funny and entertaining. We owe them a duty of care as we do to children. "

Michael Morpurgo

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" You know what? At the end of the day, funny is funny. I hope to see the end of all the female cliches that are written in a lot of comedies that are named chick flicks. "

Wendi McLendon-Covey

" James Caan told me at the end of filming 'Elf' that he had been waiting through the whole film for me to be funny - and I never was. "

" You cannot dictate what people find funny, what people find attractive, or what people find scary. There is not a norm. "

Guillermo del Toro

" There cannot be a crisis next week. My schedule is already full. "

Henry Kissinger

" When you're eight years old nothing is your business. "

" What most readers do not realize is that it takes a particular genius to write funny, to satirize. "

" What contemptible scoundrel has stolen the cork to my lunch? "

W. Clement Stone

" I wanted to be clever, but being funny came first. That's how you know someone is clever. They don't come out and tell you pi to 13 places - they tell you a joke. "

" Between two evils, I always pick the one I never tried before. "

" My theory is that all of Scottish cuisine is based on a dare. "

" Forty for you, sixty for me. And equal partners we will be. "

" During the Great Depression, when people laughed their worries disappeared. Audiences loved these funny men. I decided to become one. "

" I love practical jokes and humor. That there's frankly no joke that I don't think is funny. I love practical jokes, but I don't like being scared. "

" Because death and illness are the most horrible things in life, of course that's where the most absurdly funny things are going to happen. "

" The funny thing is, I'm so used to not caring what anyone says, good or bad, that unfortunately even when people say good things... I wish it made me feel good, but it doesn't. "

" Defy your own group. Rebel against yourself. "

Cathy Guisewite

" If women ran the world we wouldn't have wars, just intense negotiations every 28 days. "

" God did not intend religion to be an exercise club. "

" Comedy is simply a funny way of being serious. "

" Much that is great in literature is an acquired taste, and you have to acquire it in the first place. Our job as parents is essentially to pass on the enthusiasm we had for the things we loved. That's how we'll get them to fall in love with reading in the first place and, hopefully, to stay in love with it. "

Michael Morpurgo

" How many people here have telekenetic powers? Raise my hand. "

" Get your facts first, then you can distort them as you please. "

" Being funny is everything to me. "

" Instant gratification takes too long. "

" Whoever is my relative, I will not be nice to them. "

" There's only one true superpower amongst human beings, and that is being funny. People treat you differently if you can make them laugh. "

" Most of my show is true; like, 90% of everything I say on stage is true. I just have to find the way to make it funny - that's the difficult thing. "

" It's really funny because the same people who loved me as Stringer Bell were the same people that were watching 'Daddy's Little Girls' literally in tears. "

" I remember straightening my hair because I wanted to be like everybody else, and now the fact that anybody would emulate what I do? It's just funny. "

" I thought 'Borat' was a breakthrough comedy, because it was really funny. It wasn't some studio-produced script with 14 writers. "