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" I had always been quiet and studious in school. I was the high school editor of the newspaper. "

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" I think the hardest thing to do in the world, show-business-wise, is write comedy. "

" My childhood was rough, we were poor and my parents were alcoholics, but nobody was mean. I knew I was loved. We were on welfare, but I never felt abandoned or unloved. "

" Comedy is tragedy - plus time. "

" I come from Texas, and my grandmother and mother were born in Arkansas. "

" I do think there are some great female comics: Tina Fey, Amy Poehler, Kristen Wiig, Maya Rudolph. They're the whole ball of wax. "

" My grandmother and I would go see movies, and we'd come back to the apartment - we had a one-room apartment in Hollywood - and I would kind of lock myself in this little dressing room area with a cracked mirror on the door and act out what I had just seen. "

" I was in California, and I was going to UCLA, and I knew I certainly didn't have movie star looks. I remember seeing pictures and photos of Ethel Merman and Mary Martin, who were kind of average looking. I said, 'Well, that's for me, then, to go back to New York and try to be in musical comedy on Broadway.' "

" I struggled for a while, but when I was cast in an Off Broadway show called 'Once Upon a Mattress,' that kind of put me on the map. "

" Well, I don't know how astute I am, but I did want to be a journalist when I was growing up. "

" Ask anyone who's successful how they got there, you're going to hear a different story. "

" I never regretted turning down anything, I never regretted losing a job because I always felt something else was out there. "

" Only I can change my life. No one can do it for me. "

" But I didn't ask to have somebody nose around in my private life. I didn't even ask to be famous. All I asked was to be able to earn a living making people laugh. "

" I prefer doing TV, where it can be different every time. "

" I have a great memory. "

" I'm not a person who likes to confront. "

" I'm glad I was born when I was. My time was the golden age of variety. If I were starting out again now, maybe things would happen for me, but it certainly would not be on a variety show with 28 musicians, 12 dancers, two major guest stars, 50 costumes a week by Bob Mackie. The networks just wouldn't spend the money today. "

" What I like to write about is stuff I know. I don't think I could write a novel. I don't think I have it in me to come up with those kinds of characters. "

" Because nobody goes through life without a scar. "

" It's not a bad thing to be able to do many things onstage. If you're an entertainer, you should be able to entertain. I'm proud to say that I'm not a one-trick pony. "

" I've always been able to recount things, and I have a really good memory about dialog and what people have said before and this and that. "

" Just scream! You vent, and the body just feels good after a good old yell. "

" My favorite is doing the television show, as a variety show, every week. If the show wasn't that great one week, we could always come back and apologize, you know? "

" In '57, I got a job at the Blue Angel nightclub, and a gentleman named Ken Welch wrote all my material for me. I lived at a place called the Rehearsal Club that was actually the basis for a play called Stage Door. "

" I think the reason I was successful is that I was never cynical. "

" When I went to New York to try and make it, I never thought it wouldn't happen. "

" My grandmother and I followed my mother here, to a house a block north of Hollywood Boulevard but a million miles away from Hollywood, if you know what I mean. We would hang out behind the ropes and look at the movie stars arriving at the premieres. "

" I loved the Kennedy Center Honors because you just sit there, smile, wave, and cry. "

" I'm like your mother, your sister, whatever. "

" I love Maya Rudolph. She's very multitalented herself. "