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" Macho does not prove mucho. "

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" Forty for you, sixty for me. And equal partners we will be. "

" I love to go to Washington - if only to be near my money. "

" It's funny: When I first heard they were thinking of me for the president in 'Independence Day,' I just assumed it was a comedy - I didn't exactly think of myself as leader-of-the-free-world material. "

" If at first you don't succeed, find out if the loser gets anything. "

William Lyon Phelps

" We were both in love with him. I fell out of love with him, but he didn't. "

" O Lord, help me to be pure, but not yet. "

Saint Augustine

" 'I Love You, Man' was kind of funny. "

" It is not funny that anything else should fall down; only that a man should fall down. Why do we laugh? Because it is a gravely religious matter: it is the Fall of Man. Only man can be absurd: for only man can be dignified. "

Gilbert K. Chesterton

" Often, joking for me is a way of diffusing the awkwardness of a situation, so it's kind of exhilarating to be a part of projects where there's nothing funny or lighthearted. "

" I'm blonde and tanned and normal-sized! I'm sweet, shy, funny, have a big heart and I'm nice - and I like to eat. "

" Men are only as loyal as their options. "

" I would never die for my beliefs because I might be wrong. "

Bertrand Russell

" I was born in very sorry circumstances. Both of my parents were very sorry. "

" I have learned that not diamonds but divorce lawyers are a girl's best friend. "

" I buy expensive suits. They just look cheap on me. "

" The minute I understand a man, he is no longer exciting and a challenge to me. And the last thing in the world I want is for a man to understand me and know what's always going on inside my head. It takes away from all my mystery, which, as I've told you before, is the most important thing between a man and a woman. "

" Moderation is a virtue only in those who are thought to have an alternative. "

Henry Kissinger

" Some call-in moderators are neutral and courteous. Then there's Rush Limbaugh, who is funny and pompous and a scapegoater and hatemonger. His popularity could cause you to draw some terrible conclusions about the state of mind of the American people. It helps to remember that Bill Cosby is popular, too. "

Donella Meadows

" What was really funny is that as I got older all those guys who called me a sissy in junior high school wanted me to be their best friend because they wanted to meet all the girls that I knew in figure skating. "

" I remember straightening my hair because I wanted to be like everybody else, and now the fact that anybody would emulate what I do? It's just funny. "

" I think it's funny to be delicate with subjects that are explosive. "

" I think that I come off as, 'Nothing bothers me, I don't care! I'm funny and sassy.' But I'm deeply sensitive. Not only about myself but to others. Not to pat myself on the back, empathy is a quality I've cultivated over my life. It came naturally to me as a child. "

" If you're naturally kind, you attract a lot of people you don't like. "

William Feather

" After all is said and done, sit down. "

" It's funny: the one time I got star-struck was when I met Snoop Dogg. I gave him a hug and said, 'I love you, man.' "

" All I've wanted to be is someone people look up to. It's funny - everyone says I'm controversial. I've never worked out what it is about me that's controversial. I've never had a DUI; I've never been in a brawl; you've never seen photos of me walking out of clubs at 5 A.M. "

" If you can't tell a spoon from a ladle, then you're fat! "

" I grew up in Europe, where the history comes from. "

" Do not let a flattering woman coax and wheedle you and deceive you; she is after your barn. "

" A James Cagney love scene is one where he lets the other guy live. "