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" Some fellows get credit for being conservative when they are only stupid. "

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" The fellow that agrees with everything you say is either a fool or he is getting ready to skin you. "

" Lots of folks confuse bad management with destiny. "

" If capital and labor ever do get together it's good night for the rest of us. "

" An optimist is a fellow who believes what's going to be will be postponed. "

" It used to be that a fellow went on the police force when everything else failed, but today he goes in the advertising game. "

" The fellow that owns his own home is always just coming out of a hardware store. "

" No one can feel as helpless as the owner of a sick goldfish. "

" The hardest thing is to take less when you can get more. "

The Hardest Thing

" Nobody ever grew despondent looking for trouble. "

" Where ignorance is bliss it's foolish to borrow your neighbor's newspaper. "

" Nothing is as irritating as the fellow who chats pleasantly while he's overcharging you. "

" We would all like to vote for the best man but he is never a candidate. "

" Fun is like life insurance; the older you get, the more it costs. "

" Next to a circus there ain't nothing that packs up and tears out faster than the Christmas spirit. "

" A grouch escapes so many little annoyances that it almost pays to be one. "

" The only way to entertain some folks is to listen to them. "

" Men are not punished for their sins, but by them. "

" Nobody kicks on being interrupted if it's by applause. "

" Some folks can look so busy doing nothing that they seem indispensable. "

" There is no failure except in no longer trying. There is no defeat except from within, no really insurmountable barrier save our own inherent weakness of purpose. "

" Nobody can be as agreeable as an uninvited guest. "

" A loafer always has the correct time. "

" If there's anything a public servant hates to do it's something for the public. "

" When a fellow says, 'It ain't the money but the principle of the thing,' it's the money. "

" It is pretty hard to tell what does bring happiness; poverty and wealth have both failed. "

" Being an optimist after you've got everything you want doesn't count. "

" Peace has its victories no less than war, but it doesn't have as many monuments to unveil. "

" Live so that you can at least get the benefit of the doubt. "

" Classical music is the kind we keep thinking will turn into a tune. "

" Of all the home remedies, a good wife is best. "