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" It is pretty hard to tell what does bring happiness; poverty and wealth have both failed. "

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" No woman can be handsome by the force of features alone, any more that she can be witty by only the help of speech. "

" There is no failure except in no longer trying. There is no defeat except from within, no really insurmountable barrier save our own inherent weakness of purpose. "

" The fellow that owns his own home is always just coming out of a hardware store. "

" Being an optimist after you've got everything you want doesn't count. "

" A lot of Thanksgiving days have been ruined by not carving the turkey in the kitchen. "

" Next to a circus there ain't nothing that packs up and tears out faster than the Christmas spirit. "

" Nobody works as hard for his money as the man who marries it. "

" All the world loves a good loser. "

" Fun is like life insurance; the older you get, the more it costs. "

" Kindness goes a long ways lots of times when it ought to stay at home. "

" The hardest thing is to take less when you can get more. "

The Hardest Thing

" I'll say this for adversity: people seem to be able to stand it, and that's more than I can say for prosperity. "

" It's what a fellow thinks he knows that hurts him. "

" Bargain... anything a customer thinks a store is losing money on. "

" Men are not punished for their sins, but by them. "

" It's the good loser who finally loses out. "

" As to those who hoard gold and silver and spend it not in God's path, give them, then, the tidings of a painful agony: on a day when these things shall be heated in hell-fire, and their foreheads, and their sides, and their backs shall be branded therewith. "

" The safe way to double your money is to fold it over once and put it in your pocket. "

" It isn't enough for you to love money - it's also necessary that money should love you. "

" There's no secret about success. Did you ever know a successful man who didn't tell you about it? "

" No one can feel as helpless as the owner of a sick goldfish. "

" A loafer always has the correct time. "

" A bee is never as busy as it seems; it's just that it can't buzz any slower. "

" Nothing is as irritating as the fellow who chats pleasantly while he's overcharging you. "

" When a fellow says, 'It ain't the money but the principle of the thing,' it's the money. "

" Lack of pep is often mistaken for patience. "

" We would all like to vote for the best man but he is never a candidate. "

" Every once in a while someone without a single bad habit gets caught. "

" Classical music is the kind we keep thinking will turn into a tune. "

" It used to be that a fellow went on the police force when everything else failed, but today he goes in the advertising game. "