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" Some debts are fun when you are acquiring them, but none are fun when you set about retiring them. "
Ogden Nash
None
Some
Fun
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" Progress might have been alright once, but it has gone on too long. "
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Progress
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" If you don't want to work you have to work to earn enough money so that you won't have to work. "
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You
Earn
Enough
" The bed is a bundle of paradoxes: we go to it with reluctance, yet we quit it with regret; we make up our minds every night to leave it early, but we make up our bodies every morning to keep it late. "
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Early
Bed
Morning
" Too clever is dumb. "
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Too
Clever
Dumb
" Life is not having been told that the man has just waxed the floor. "
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Life
Man
Been
" To keep your marriage brimming, With love in the loving cup, Whenever you're wrong, admit it; Whenever you're right, shut up. "
Ogden Nash
Admit
Love
Loving
" People who have what they want are fond of telling people who haven't what they want that they really don't want it. "
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Want
Telling
Really
" A door is what a dog is perpetually on the wrong side of. "
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Side
Wrong
Door
" The cow is of the bovine ilk; one end is moo, the other milk. "
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Other
Cow
End
" I do not like to get the news, because there has never been an era when so many things were going so right for so many of the wrong persons. "
Ogden Nash
Right
News
Never
" Middle age is when you've met so many people that every new person you meet reminds you of someone else. "
Ogden Nash
Meet
Age
People
" Oh, what a tangled web do parents weave when they think that their children are naive. "
Ogden Nash
Naive
Children
Oh
" Professional men, they have no cares; whatever happens, they get theirs. "
Ogden Nash
Men
Whatever
Professional
" Every Englishman is convinced of one thing, viz.: That to be an Englishman is to belong to the most exclusive club there is. "
Ogden Nash
One Thing
Exclusive
Most
" I have an idea that the phrase 'weaker sex' was coined by some woman to disarm the man she was preparing to overwhelm. "
Ogden Nash
Man
Idea
Sex
" I think that I shall never see a billboard lovely as a tree. Perhaps, unless the billboards fall, I'll never see a tree at all. "
Ogden Nash
Think
Fall
Lovely
" The only people who should really sin are the people who can sin and grin. "
Ogden Nash
People
Who
Only
" Certainly there are things in life that money can't buy, but it's very funny - Did you ever try buying them without money? "
Ogden Nash
Try
Money
Funny
" I hope my tongue in prune juice smothers, If I belittle dogs and mothers. "
Ogden Nash
Juice
Mothers
Hope
" Marriage is the alliance of two people, one of whom never remembers birthdays and the other who never forgets them. "
Ogden Nash
Two
Never
Marriage
" Women would rather be right than reasonable. "
Ogden Nash
Reasonable
Women
Rather
" Do you think my mind is maturing late, or simply rotted early? "
Ogden Nash
Simply
Late
You
" Candy is dandy but liquor is quicker. "
Ogden Nash
Liquor
Quicker
Candy
" There are people who are very resourceful, at being remorseful, and who apparently feel that the best way to make friends is to do something terrible and then make amends. "
Ogden Nash
Friends
Best
People
" Happiness is having a scratch for every itch. "
Ogden Nash
Every
Having
Itch
" The trouble with a kitten is that eventually it becomes a cat. "
Ogden Nash
Kitten
Cat
Eventually
" Parents were invented to make children happy by giving them something to ignore. "
Ogden Nash
Parenting
Parents
Children
" Every New Year is the direct descendant, isn't it, of a long line of proven criminals? "
Ogden Nash
New
Long
Direct
" The most exciting happiness is the happiness generated by forces beyond your control. "
Ogden Nash
Control
Most
Happiness
" I claim there ain't Another Saint As great as Valentine. "
Ogden Nash
Great
Saint
Valentine