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" There are lies, damned lies and statistics. "

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" Facts are stubborn, but statistics are more pliable. "

" It was wonderful to find America, but it would have been more wonderful to miss it. "

" Climate is what we expect, weather is what we get. "

" The best way to cheer yourself up is to try to cheer somebody else up. "

" I make it a rule never to smoke while I'm sleeping. "

" Honesty is the best policy - when there is money in it. "

" A round man cannot be expected to fit in a square hole right away. He must have time to modify his shape. "

" Biographies are but the clothes and buttons of the man. The biography of the man himself cannot be written. "

" Only kings, presidents, editors, and people with tapeworms have the right to use the editorial 'we.' "

" God made the Idiot for practice, and then He made the School Board. "

" Golf is a good walk spoiled. "

" Apparently there is nothing that cannot happen today. "

" I have never taken any exercise, except sleeping and resting, and I never intend to take any. "

" To be good is noble; but to show others how to be good is nobler and no trouble. "

" Truth is stranger than fiction, but it is because Fiction is obliged to stick to possibilities; Truth isn't. "

" It usually takes me more than three weeks to prepare a good impromptu speech. "

" Do the right thing. It will gratify some people and astonish the rest. "

Do The Right Thing

" Do the thing you fear most and the death of fear is certain. "

" Work is a necessary evil to be avoided. "

" Let us endeavor so to live so that when we come to die even the undertaker will be sorry. "

" Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don't mind, it doesn't matter. "

" It is easier to stay out than get out. "

" The main difference between a cat and a lie is that a cat only has nine lives. "

" Few of us can stand prosperity. Another man's, I mean. "

" There is no sadder sight than a young pessimist. "

" George Washington, as a boy, was ignorant of the commonest accomplishments of youth. He could not even lie. "

" Necessity is the mother of taking chances. "

" The man who is a pessimist before 48 knows too much; if he is an optimist after it, he knows too little. "

" I have been complimented many times and they always embarrass me; I always feel that they have not said enough. "