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" It was wonderful to find America, but it would have been more wonderful to miss it. "

Related Quotes:

" There are several good protections against temptation, but the surest is cowardice. "

" The only way to keep your health is to eat what you don't want, drink what you don't like, and do what you'd rather not. "

" Don't go around saying the world owes you a living. The world owes you nothing. It was here first. "

" India has 2,000,000 gods and worships them all. In religion, all other countries are paupers; India is the only millionaire. "

" There are people who can do all fine and heroic things but one - keep from telling their happiness to the unhappy. "

" To refuse awards is another way of accepting them with more noise than is normal. "

" Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don't mind, it doesn't matter. "

" The secret of getting ahead is getting started. "

Getting Started

" No sinner is ever saved after the first twenty minutes of a sermon. "

" Man will do many things to get himself loved, he will do all things to get himself envied. "

" Often it does seem such a pity that Noah and his party did not miss the boat. "

" Be careless in your dress if you must, but keep a tidy soul. "

" Cauliflower is nothing but cabbage with a college education. "

College Education

" If man could be crossed with the cat it would improve man, but deteriorate the cat. "

" The human race is a race of cowards; and I am not only marching in that procession but carrying a banner. "

" The lack of money is the root of all evil. "

" The first of April is the day we remember what we are the other 364 days of the year. "

" Loyalty to the Nation all the time, loyalty to the Government when it deserves it. "

" I don't give a damn for a man that can only spell a word one way. "

" The more things are forbidden, the more popular they become. "

" Nothing so needs reforming as other people's habits. "

" Good friends, good books and a sleepy conscience: this is the ideal life. "

" Kindness is the language which the deaf can hear and the blind can see. "

" I must have a prodigious quantity of mind; it takes me as much as a week sometimes to make it up. "

" Civilization is the limitless multiplication of unnecessary necessities. "

" I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it. "

" Laws control the lesser man... Right conduct controls the greater one. "

" If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything. "

" Do not tell fish stories where the people know you; but particularly, don't tell them where they know the fish. "

" I have been complimented many times and they always embarrass me; I always feel that they have not said enough. "