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" The parrot's so funny. He imitates me and I don't even realize he's doing it. I'm walking around the house talking to myself and whistling and the next day he's said something I've said... it's scary you know? "

Mick Ralphs

Walking

Myself

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" If it weren't for Philo T. Farnsworth, inventor of television, we'd still be eating frozen radio dinners. "

" I'm like old wine. They don't bring me out very often - but I'm well preserved. "

Rose Kennedy

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Funny

" God did not intend religion to be an exercise club. "

" All I've wanted to be is someone people look up to. It's funny - everyone says I'm controversial. I've never worked out what it is about me that's controversial. I've never had a DUI; I've never been in a brawl; you've never seen photos of me walking out of clubs at 5 A.M. "

" I grew up as a very sarcastic person. I was always the class clown, and to date girls, I had to be really funny. I was really skinny growing up. I was so thin, I had to run around in the shower to get wet. That kind of thin. So I always had to rely on humor and sarcasm. "

" I am the shortest and least funny person in my family. "

Heather Donahue

Least

Person

" One man is as good as another until he has written a book. "

Benjamin Jowett

Man

Funny

" Boy, those French: they have a different word for everything! "

" No matter how popular you are as a stand-up - you can go out and fill a 10,000-seat arena and be smart and funny - it's delicate to host an awards show and know where your place is and know that it's not about you, that it's about the people who are nominated, and respect that, but at the same time have your moment to show them who you are. "

" It's funny, I listen to friends who talk about back when they were 14, eight, 16, whatever, as if it was yesterday. Me, I've no idea what I did. It's all a blur, I'm afraid. "

Catherine McCormack

Back

Blur

" Whatever is funny is subversive, every joke is ultimately a custard pie... a dirty joke is a sort of mental rebellion. "

" I spent a year in that town, one Sunday. "

" If at first you don't succeed, find out if the loser gets anything. "

" I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by. "

Douglas Adams

Love

Sound

" As I get older, all sorts of things become less funny. Once one has children, any cruelty involving children becomes far less amusing than when one was at the mercy of one's friends' and relatives' children. "

" I have been playing a lot of keyboards, especially in the last five or six years. I suppose it gives you more scope than the guitar, although it does tend to make you write a different way. "

" I wouldn't totally rule out doing Letterman or the Tonight Show if I had a set that I just happened to write that I thought was funny but was still appropriate for network censors. But I'm not going to go out of my way. "

" It's simple, if it jiggles, it's fat. "

Arnold Schwarzenegger

Funny

Fat

Simple

" They say Yogi Berra is funny. Well, he has a lovely wife and family, a beautiful home, money in the bank, and he plays golf with millionaires. What's funny about that? "

" I would say just start writing. You've got to write every day. Copy someone that you like if you think that perhaps could become your sound, too. I did that with Hemingway, and I thought I was writing just like Hemingway. Then all of a sudden it occurred to me - he didn't have a sense of humor. I don't know anything he's written that's funny. "

" Things that I feel really sad about, I talk about. That way, if it's funny, it doesn't hurt anymore. "

" I'm writing a book. I've got the page numbers done. "

" Comedy is surprises, so if you're intending to make somebody laugh and they don't laugh, that's funny. "

" It's funny, because there are so many stereotypes out there about actors and movie stars in general, but I've had a great opportunity to meet a lot of them, and maybe it's just because they don't behave that way around me, but I rarely see that kind of abuse of power. "

" What's another word for Thesaurus? "

" I have a very low level of recognition, which is fine by me. "

Dylan Moran

Recognition

Low

" It's funny: When I first heard they were thinking of me for the president in 'Independence Day,' I just assumed it was a comedy - I didn't exactly think of myself as leader-of-the-free-world material. "

" It's funny: people who meet me say, 'I thought you'd be different.' But I'm still the same guy. "

" There's a darkness under 'The Hangover' because ultimately there's a missing person and it's not really that funny. There's a sort of darkness under it that I love, and still people are laughing as hard if not harder than they did in 'Old School.' "

" A stockbroker urged me to buy a stock that would triple its value every year. I told him, 'At my age, I don't even buy green bananas.' "