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" We can't all be heroes, because somebody has to sit on the curb and applaud when they go by. "

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" In Hollywood you can see things at night that are fast enough to be in the Olympics in the day time. "

" Be thankful we're not getting all the government we're paying for. "

" All I know is just what I read in the papers, and that's an alibi for my ignorance. "

" There ought to be one day - just one - when there is open season on senators. "

" I belong to no organized party. I am a Democrat. "

" I guess there is nothing that will get your mind off everything like golf. I have never been depressed enough to take up the game, but they say you get so sore at yourself you forget to hate your enemies. "

" I never expected to see the day when girls would get sunburned in the places they now do. "

" If you want to be successful, it's just this simple. Know what you are doing. Love what you are doing. And believe in what you are doing. "

" Politics is applesauce. "

" Good judgment comes from experience, and a lot of that comes from bad judgment. "

" When should a college athlete turn pro? Not until he has earned all he can in college as an amateur. "

" An economist's guess is liable to be as good as anybody else's. "

" When the Oakies left Oklahoma and moved to California, it raised the I.Q. of both states. "

" Do the best you can, and don't take life too serious. "

" You can't say civilization don't advance... in every war they kill you in a new way. "

" Don't gamble; take all your savings and buy some good stock and hold it till it goes up, then sell it. If it don't go up, don't buy it. "

" Advertising is the art of convincing people to spend money they don't have for something they don't need. "

" On account of being a democracy and run by the people, we are the only nation in the world that has to keep a government four years, no matter what it does. "

" Ohio claims they are due a president as they haven't had one since Taft. Look at the United States, they have not had one since Lincoln. "

" The only way you can beat the lawyers is to die with nothing. "

" A man only learns in two ways, one by reading, and the other by association with smarter people. "

" About all I can say for the United States Senate is that it opens with a prayer and closes with an investigation. "

" The only time people dislike gossip is when you gossip about them. "

" We don't seem to be able to check crime, so why not legalize it and then tax it out of business? "

" The farmer has to be an optimist or he wouldn't still be a farmer. "

" A fool and his money are soon elected. "

" Even though you are on the right track - you will get run over if you just sit there. "

" If advertisers spent the same amount of money on improving their products as they do on advertising then they wouldn't have to advertise them. "

" Everything is funny, as long as it's happening to somebody else. "

" Make crime pay. Become a lawyer. "