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" The farmer has to be an optimist or he wouldn't still be a farmer. "

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" This country has come to feel the same when Congress is in session as when the baby gets hold of a hammer. "

" Never let yesterday use up too much of today. "

" The only way you can beat the lawyers is to die with nothing. "

" In Hollywood the woods are full of people that learned to write but evidently can't read. If they could read their stuff, they'd stop writing. "

" The difference between a Republican and a Democrat is the Democrat is a cannibal they have to live off each other, while the Republicans, why, they live off the Democrats. "

" Ohio claims they are due a president as they haven't had one since Taft. Look at the United States, they have not had one since Lincoln. "

" Live in such a way that you would not be ashamed to sell your parrot to the town gossip. "

" We are all here for a spell, get all the good laughs you can. "

" If you make any money, the government shoves you in the creek once a year with it in your pockets, and all that don't get wet you can keep. "

" Last year we said, 'Things can't go on like this', and they didn't, they got worse. "

" A holding company is a thing where you hand an accomplice the goods while the policeman searches you. "

" America is a nation that conceives many odd inventions for getting somewhere but it can think of nothing to do once it gets there. "

" You can't say civilization don't advance... in every war they kill you in a new way. "

" An economist's guess is liable to be as good as anybody else's. "

" The fellow that can only see a week ahead is always the popular fellow, for he is looking with the crowd. But the one that can see years ahead, he has a telescope but he can't make anybody believe that he has it. "

" If advertisers spent the same amount of money on improving their products as they do on advertising then they wouldn't have to advertise them. "

" On account of being a democracy and run by the people, we are the only nation in the world that has to keep a government four years, no matter what it does. "

" The time to save is now. When a dog gets a bone, he doesn't go out and make a down payment on a bigger bone. He buries the one he's got. "

" Liberty doesn't work as well in practice as it does in speeches. "

" Take the diplomacy out of war and the thing would fall flat in a week. "

" Politics is applesauce. "

" Good judgment comes from experience, and a lot of that comes from bad judgment. "

" About all I can say for the United States Senate is that it opens with a prayer and closes with an investigation. "

" When ignorance gets started it knows no bounds. "

" We will never have true civilization until we have learned to recognize the rights of others. "

" Everything is funny, as long as it's happening to somebody else. "

" If you ever injected truth into politics you have no politics. "

" One-third of the people in the United States promote, while the other two-thirds provide. "

" Money and women are the most sought after and the least known about of any two things we have. "

" It's a good thing we don't get all the government we pay for. "