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" The young comedians always ask me, 'What's the secret for staying around?' I tell them, 'There is no secret - just stay around. Longevity is the most important thing.' "

Don Rickles

Important

Longevity

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" What keeps me going is that young people still want to see me. "

" I don't practice or write stuff down - everything I do onstage was just made up before I went on. "

" I call myself an actor. I always wanted to be one. "

" Somehow, in my head, I don't think I'll die. I know that everybody dies, of course. I just think that it'll never come to me. It's crazy, but there it is. "

" Compared to what comics say today, I'm a monk, but in those days, it was unheard of to make fun of people like I did. Of course, they exaggerated how outrageous I really was. "

" I did a few movies, but the word 'star'... I cannot compare to a star like Clint Eastwood. I used to call Clint 'Larry Dickman' when he would come to my show; then, he started using the name when he would go under cover in a 'Dirty Harry' movie. That's why he's a movie star... he's so creative. "

" I was sitting in the toilet and I was by myself. I was tired of playing with the roller, so I said I'd better write a book. "

" I always rib people, but nobody ever gives me a hard time. I don't know why. Maybe they're afraid of what I might say. There's probably a lesson in that somewhere, but I don't know what it is. "

" I ride a recumbent bike for half an hour every day. "

" Johnny Carson was a big influence on me - all of those shows I did with him over the years, like, 100 of them, they made a bit of a name for me at the time, so that part of my life was very good. "

" Everything I've performed has been from my own head. "

" Italians are fantastic people, really. They can work you over in an alley while singing an opera. "

" Diana Krall I met in, I think it was Canada. She's a lovely lady. Her husband, Elvis Costello, is a great star. "

" Herb Solo at that time was the head of MGM. I said, 'I want to live like Clint Eastwood.' Did I know at that time Clint Eastwood, to him, Heaven was a truck, a dog, and a picnic basket for food or something? "

" I've never had a written script. "

" I've never gone to comedy clubs. "

" I don't like to compare myself with anybody. "

Don Rickles

Anybody

Myself

" When I got out of high school, I wanted to be an actor but was getting a lot of rejections. I was getting rejected by life. My mother, God rest her soul, told me not to quit. "

" My mother was a big influence. She kept pushing me because I was very shy and inhibited. And schoolwork was very difficult for me because I couldn't concentrate. I was failing almost every subject. To this day, I'm not too good at reading a book. But I was the president of my high school comedy group, and they treated me like a king. "

" You can't study comedy; it's within you. It's a personality. My humor is an attitude. "

" If something strikes me as funny, I'll put it in my performance. "

Don Rickles

Performance

Funny

" Why should I retire? I'm like a fighter. The bell rings, and you come out and fight. "

Don Rickles

Why

You

" I told jokes badly. "

Don Rickles

Badly

Jokes

" Once in a while, when I'm alone, I think about my age. I think, 'How many more years do I have on this earth?' But I can't really conceive of dying. "

Don Rickles

Age

Think

" Girls were scared of me because I can be loud. Barbara, my wife of 51 years, is very low-key. She was my picture agent's secretary. "

Don Rickles

Wife

Picture

" I don't walk into a dinner party and say, 'You're an idiot; give me my coat.' "

Don Rickles

Walk

Party

" I exaggerate all our selves, our beings. I make fun of everything: of our life and what we are. But I don't tell jokes, really. I just exaggerate life, and it comes out funny. "

" I have my own gym. When you do jokes and they sell, you get a gym. "

" I did a picture 40 years ago with Carroll O'Connor and Telly Savalas, God rest their souls, and Clint Eastwood, called 'Kelly's Heroes,' which we filmed in Yugoslavia for six months. "

" One thing a comedian does, when you step on the stage, you're selling yourself, and certainly I don't think the whole world can love you. But if you can get the majority on your side, you're really in business. "