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" You know, when you're a producer, you're a bit of a lackey. You're just making cups of tea and making sure they've got newspaper, stuff like that. "
Karl Pilkington
Like
Tea
Know
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" I mean, I don't really go out at night in terms of noisy, busy places; I prefer more of a quiet corner somewhere. "
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" Who'd have thought the Frisbee would have caught on? "
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" If you're doing the same job every day, there's room for error. "
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" The poorer people and criminals of Mexico who are not very religious but not quite atheists, either, worship Saint Death. "
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" If you sit in a bath of pineapple chunks, it can kill you. That's well documented. "
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" I love nature - it's probably my most favorite thing. I don't watch much telly, the telly hardly goes on, but the things I do watch are sort of nature programs, and something about the oceans and the amount of weird fish that's in there. "
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" I don't want to go about offending people; that's not my plan. "
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" It's like there's some unwritten rule that if you're mates, you can say what you want to each other, and you don't really get that annoyed about it. "
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" It's not a joke: I really do like being at home. "
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" I'd rather live in a cave with a view of a palace than live in a palace with a view of a cave. "
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" I'm not invited to any exciting parties and my life hasn't really changed. "
Karl Pilkington
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" I say have the night and give people the awards, but why do people want to watch people win awards? What are they getting out of it? I don't quite get it. Because they have awards all the time; there's awards for butchers, the best meat served, but they don't televise it. I don't know why they do it for films or TV programs. "
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" They say it all started out with a big bang. But, what I wonder is, was it a big bang or did it just seem big because there wasn't anything else drown it out at the time? "
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Say
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" We'll all die out eventually. Humans will be gone. And all I'm saying is, when people worry about polar bears disappearing or whatever, it's like, 'Well that's life, things will come and go, we'll find new species.' "
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Life
Find
Saying
" I don't know what 'famous' is, really. "
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Famous
Know
Really
" With evolution, things are always changing, so I sort of think: Should we all be growing three heads? "
Karl Pilkington
Evolution
Always
Three
" I think it's a problem when something's a dream because it'll never live up to your expectations. It's better to go somewhere thinking it'll be horrible, and then be pleasantly surprised. "
Karl Pilkington
Problem
Thinking
Dream
" I've done some luxury flying, which is brilliant. It has only happened once or twice, but it was nice because flying is the worst part of the holiday. But then again, if the plane crashes, you're still dead. For that much money I'd want a little capsule that whizzed me off to safety if it was going to crash. "
Karl Pilkington
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Money
Nice
" I had a bad experience doing public speaking at school. I had to talk about a pen for five minutes and it was really hard work. I couldn't wait to get off the stage. "
Karl Pilkington
Hard Work
Pen
Work
" I've learnt that, even though I've travelled about, I haven't changed that much. "
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Changed
Much
Even
" We should all love animals. "
Karl Pilkington
Animals
Love
Should
" I've never won many awards, I didn't get certificates for swimming or anything. "
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Won
Anything
Awards
" People who live in glass houses... have to answer the door. "
Karl Pilkington
Glass
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" Chinese people age overnight. "
Karl Pilkington
Age
Chinese
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" I've never thought about it before, but I suppose bad people might need someone to pray to, too. "
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Bad
Thought
People
" People always tell me I'm going to regret not having kids. But what if I have one and then I regret having it? Has anyone thought of that option? "
Karl Pilkington
People
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Thought
" At the end of the day, teachers aren't going to mess about trying to make me into an Einstein, 'cause it was never gonna happen. We can't all be brainy, can we? That's just the way the world is. "
Karl Pilkington
End
World
Way
" I'd say the best is when I was in Africa, I saw a hippo in a house. Someone had a pet hippo. And they're meant to be one of the most dangerous animals on the planet, and they had one that was sort of just wandering in and out of their house, just sort of roaming about. "
Karl Pilkington
Say
House
Best
" I've never worried about life's big questions. "
Karl Pilkington
Questions
Never
Life
" I've got loads of nieces and nephews. "
Karl Pilkington
Got
Nieces
Nephews