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" I think it's a problem when something's a dream because it'll never live up to your expectations. It's better to go somewhere thinking it'll be horrible, and then be pleasantly surprised. "

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" The poorer people and criminals of Mexico who are not very religious but not quite atheists, either, worship Saint Death. "

Karl Pilkington

Mexico

People

Worship

" Being honest with you, it's not the 'great' wall of China. It's an all right wall. It's the 'All Right Wall of China.' "

" If you sit in a bath of pineapple chunks, it can kill you. That's well documented. "

" Yesterday, I did some painting then went out to buy an onion and came home and watched 'University Challenge.' The onion was probably the highlight. "

" To be honest, marriage doesn't scare me and that, it's just once you've been together for so long, if you haven't got any kids it's just a big expensive day out for everyone else to enjoy, isn't it? "

Karl Pilkington

Together

Marriage

" People always tell me I'm going to regret not having kids. But what if I have one and then I regret having it? Has anyone thought of that option? "

Karl Pilkington

People

Thought

" I'd rather live in a cave with a view of a palace than live in a palace with a view of a cave. "

" I mean, I don't really go out at night in terms of noisy, busy places; I prefer more of a quiet corner somewhere. "

" Comedy's really subjective, you know. "

" Comedy's really subjective, you know; that's why it's so hard. "

" People who live in a glass house have to answer the door. "

" I've never understood the 'things to do before you die' idea. If I was ill, I'd be in no mood to have a swim with a dolphin. "

" Chinese people age overnight. "

" A slug is always on its own. It's a lonely insect. "

" I just sort of go along and say what I think -and that's all you can do in life, really. "

" And we've got a toaster and everything. So there is no reason for the wedding. "

" It's not a joke: I really do like being at home. "

Karl Pilkington

Really

Joke

" With acting, I didn't get much from it. "

" I've got loads of nieces and nephews. "

" To me, a cat is an easy pet, they don't need any spoiling or looking after. "

Karl Pilkington

Easy

Looking

" I've never worried about life's big questions. "

" Me mum used to always have the radio on - even now she has it on in every room. Me girlfriend sort of blames that reason for me not doing that well at school - constant noise, really. "

Karl Pilkington

Always

She

" I don't know any Londoners 'cos I'm from Manchester. "

" Making the 'An Idiot Abroad' series, I was really dreading going to India; I thought I'd hate it. It was a nightmare, and I was really ill - just like everyone says. "

" You know, when you're a producer, you're a bit of a lackey. You're just making cups of tea and making sure they've got newspaper, stuff like that. "

Karl Pilkington

Tea

Know

" I don't really go out at night in terms of noisy, busy places; I prefer more of a quiet corner somewhere. "

Karl Pilkington

Quiet

Busy

" Who'd have thought the Frisbee would have caught on? "

" I don't know what the future is, but you just do it whilst it's there, don't you? "

" I'm not that lazy, but I don't need that much money. I lead a fairly simple life. "

" I came face-to-face with a gorilla which was quite good, but it was a 10-hour trek in bad weather, up hills, covered in mud, with mosquitoes everywhere and when we got there the gorilla's just sat there doing nowt. "