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" I've learnt that, even though I've travelled about, I haven't changed that much. "

Karl Pilkington

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" To me, a cat is an easy pet, they don't need any spoiling or looking after. "

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" When you've been on a programme called 'An Idiot Abroad' job offers aren't exactly flying in. "

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" I sometimes wonder how we're short of cod. There's gonna be a load deep down that are hiding. But it's a good reason to put the price up, and it means a load of people will have haddock. They should tell people they're running out of all sorts. Make 'em panic a bit. "

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" With acting, I didn't get much from it. "

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" I'm not that lazy, but I don't need that much money. I lead a fairly simple life. "

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" A slug is always on its own. It's a lonely insect. "

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" I don't really go out at night in terms of noisy, busy places; I prefer more of a quiet corner somewhere. "

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" Me mum used to always have the radio on - even now she has it on in every room. Me girlfriend sort of blames that reason for me not doing that well at school - constant noise, really. "

Karl Pilkington

" You can only live to be so old, then you gotta let go. "

Karl Pilkington

" I've never won many awards, I didn't get certificates for swimming or anything. "

Karl Pilkington

" I'm not a proper traveler. I don't like to be challenged or have too much of a change and prefer a week away just to relax. "

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" All fame is is having people you don't know coming up to you and saying, 'Hello.' I'm always polite and people are always nice, but it's weird. "

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" If you'd have told me five years ago that I'd have done all this - two books, some television and everything - I'd panic, I'd be scared. "

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" For me, a good holiday is about value for money rather than things to see. "

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" At the end of the day, teachers aren't going to mess about trying to make me into an Einstein, 'cause it was never gonna happen. We can't all be brainy, can we? That's just the way the world is. "

Karl Pilkington

" The other day I was thinking - because I get a lot of headaches - I was wondering whether the head should be where it is. Because, at the end of the day, it's probably the heaviest part of your body, right? And yet it's at the top as opposed to, I don't, dangling at the bottom somewhere. "

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" People eat duck and you think, well, we've got loads of chickens, leave the ducks alone! "

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" People always tell me I'm going to regret not having kids. But what if I have one and then I regret having it? Has anyone thought of that option? "

Karl Pilkington

" I mean, I don't really go out at night in terms of noisy, busy places; I prefer more of a quiet corner somewhere. "

Karl Pilkington

" I don't know what 'famous' is, really. "

Karl Pilkington

" It's like there's some unwritten rule that if you're mates, you can say what you want to each other, and you don't really get that annoyed about it. "

Karl Pilkington

" I've never thought about it before, but I suppose bad people might need someone to pray to, too. "

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" I don't think I'd be a very good parent. I'd be too honest. "

Karl Pilkington

" You know, when you're a producer, you're a bit of a lackey. You're just making cups of tea and making sure they've got newspaper, stuff like that. "

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" Getting old is better than being young. You can do what you want to do. "

Karl Pilkington