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" People who live in glass houses... have to answer the door. "

Karl Pilkington

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" I just sort of go along and say what I think -and that's all you can do in life, really. "

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" For me, a good holiday is about value for money rather than things to see. "

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" I've never thought about it before, but I suppose bad people might need someone to pray to, too. "

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" I've done some luxury flying, which is brilliant. It has only happened once or twice, but it was nice because flying is the worst part of the holiday. But then again, if the plane crashes, you're still dead. For that much money I'd want a little capsule that whizzed me off to safety if it was going to crash. "

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" People always tell me I'm going to regret not having kids. But what if I have one and then I regret having it? Has anyone thought of that option? "

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" You know, when you're a producer, you're a bit of a lackey. You're just making cups of tea and making sure they've got newspaper, stuff like that. "

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" Sometimes you can know too much. A lot of brainy people like Stephen Fry are quite depressive. "

Karl Pilkington

" I've never worried about life's big questions. "

Karl Pilkington

" I drive a car, like an adult. Not brilliantly. I'm not great. "

Karl Pilkington

" I've learnt that, even though I've travelled about, I haven't changed that much. "

Karl Pilkington

" I've got loads of nieces and nephews. "

Karl Pilkington

" If you'd have told me five years ago that I'd have done all this - two books, some television and everything - I'd panic, I'd be scared. "

Karl Pilkington

" I'm not that lazy, but I don't need that much money. I lead a fairly simple life. "

Karl Pilkington

" I sometimes wonder how we're short of cod. There's gonna be a load deep down that are hiding. But it's a good reason to put the price up, and it means a load of people will have haddock. They should tell people they're running out of all sorts. Make 'em panic a bit. "

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" With evolution, things are always changing, so I sort of think: Should we all be growing three heads? "

Karl Pilkington

" Being honest with you, it's not the 'great' wall of China. It's an all right wall. It's the 'All Right Wall of China.' "

Karl Pilkington

" I really can't believe what a state the Pyramids are in. I thought they had flat rendered sides, but when you get up close, you see how they are just giant boulders balanced on top of each other, like a massive game of Jenga that has got out of hand. "

Karl Pilkington

" If you're doing the same job every day, there's room for error. "

Karl Pilkington

" But I'm not an idiot. At the end of the day, I've learned a lot. "

Karl Pilkington

" You can only live to be so old, then you gotta let go. "

Karl Pilkington

" Comedy's really subjective, you know. "

Karl Pilkington

" I'm not a proper traveler. I don't like to be challenged or have too much of a change and prefer a week away just to relax. "

Karl Pilkington

" I think it's mental to pay for water. Where is that water coming from? Are they in the hills puttin' it into bottles when years ago it used to roll down and go into the lakes? "

Karl Pilkington

" I was impressed by the Taj Mahal. A good bit of work, well looked after, worth paying money to see. "

Karl Pilkington

" Making the 'An Idiot Abroad' series, I was really dreading going to India; I thought I'd hate it. It was a nightmare, and I was really ill - just like everyone says. "

Karl Pilkington

" When I go on holiday and people ask me what I do, I tell them I do some internet stuff and I've done a couple of books and I hope they just leave it at that. "

Karl Pilkington