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" Being nice can be funny. A lot of my jokes are like, 'Let me take a bad situation and try to put the best spin on it.' "

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" Scenes change all the time. Scenes will change while you're shooting them, and you just have to roll with it 'cause that's what makes it funny. It's not being stuck in your character and how you're gonna do something, but to react to other people and to really have a real-life conversation. "

" Tell me I'm beautiful, it's nothing. Tell me I'm intellectual - I know it. Tell me I'm funny, and it's the greatest compliment in the world anyone could give me. "

" A two-year-old is kind of like having a blender, but you don't have a top for it. "

" You win a race, the next race it's a question mark. Are you still the best or not? That's what is funny. But that's what is interesting. And that's what is challenging. You have to prove yourself every time. "

Michael Schumacher

" We definitely have a Wii U. It gets pulled out whenever there's a new great game coming out. "

" I'm the only man in the world with a marriage licence made out to whom it may concern. "

" A government that robs Peter to pay Paul can always depend on the support of Paul. "

George Bernard Shaw

" Macho does not prove mucho. "

" What after all, is a halo? It's only one more thing to keep clean. "

Christopher Fry

" Does it bother me that I'm attached to 'Three's Company' 30 years after? Not at all. All we were trying to do was be funny. How can I complain? That's all I wanted to do. "

" The worst job I ever had was working as a Lady Liberty sign-twirler for a tax services place, where I'd just dance and have fun. The way I talk about it makes it sounds like a fun job - but then I got a staph infection from the costume. So that was probably the worst part about it. "

" Drawing on my fine command of the English language, I said nothing. "

Robert Benchley

" If men knew how women pass the time when they are alone, they'd never marry. "

" I read part of it all the way through. "

" I've had an experience through music that has touched almost every part of me. It educated me in ways that I didn't get educated in school. So we try to lay on a bit of that, through being funny, being serious, playing hard. "

Bruce Springsteen

" I love every minute of fatherhood, staying up all night, changing nappies, kids crying, I find it really funny and inspiring. It connects you to the world in a new way. "

" Trying to maintain your health on the road can be difficult. Especially in the middle of the country where they close by 9 and you're not out of work until midnight. You end up at a McDonald's or Taco Bell. "

" I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by. "

" A woman's mind is cleaner than a man's: She changes it more often. "

" I'm quite sarcastic, and I'm funny, but not kind of funny. It's a weird funny, and some people don't get me, and some people do. "

Millie Bobby Brown

" It is funny to me that because I can run, because I'm athletic, people tend to see that as my only asset. "

Colin Kaepernick

" I don't think I would do a straight late-night talk show, like a 'Tonight Show' kind of thing. But I'm open to whatever is done well. I don't have any agenda. I'm not like Fugazi - I'm not trying to be just so punk rock until I die. Whatever is funny is good. "

" I'm good at coming up with wacky characters and funny dialogue. "

" A James Cagney love scene is one where he lets the other guy live. "

" I went out with seven actors in a row. There are problems with that. I've had the really good-looking dramatic actor, and that has its problems. And then I'll go out with the funny guy. It's almost like the funny guy has more to prove. "

Jennifer Coolidge

" Parrots make great pets. They have more personality than goldfish. "

" Flattery is like cologne water, to be smelt, not swallowed. "

" I never drink water because of the disgusting things that fish do in it. "

" Just telling the facts are no longer enough. You now have to be persuasive, charismatic, interesting, and funny. Just telling people things isn't enough anymore. "

Milo Yiannopoulos

" I was so naive as a kid I used to sneak behind the barn and do nothing. "