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" Drawing on my fine command of the English language, I said nothing. "

Robert Benchley

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" I'm quite sarcastic, and I'm funny, but not kind of funny. It's a weird funny, and some people don't get me, and some people do. "

Millie Bobby Brown

" The first thing I ever got my hands on was Andy Griffith's 'What It Was, Was Football.' I was fascinated with the fact that every syllable made it funny, and I would laugh even though I didn't know what any of it meant. "

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" Every time I see an adult on a bicycle, I no longer despair for the future of the human race. "

" I read part of it all the way through. "

" Nothing makes a man feel older than to hear a band coming up the street and not to have the impulse to rush downstairs and out on to the sidewalk. "

Robert Benchley

" I can really stir up a conversation. Every time I go to a meeting or a casting, I try to make it as light and funny as I can. I'm always making really awkward jokes. You have to make life fun and not take it too seriously. I may look like I'm very serious and into my work, but if you knew me, I'm just a jokester. "

Charlotte McKinney

" The avant-garde theater is fun; it is free-swinging, bold, iconoclastic, and often wildly, wildly funny. If you will approach it with childlike innocence - putting your standard responses aside, for they do not apply - if you will approach it on its own terms, I think you will be in for a liberating surprise. "

" I grew up as a very sarcastic person. I was always the class clown, and to date girls, I had to be really funny. I was really skinny growing up. I was so thin, I had to run around in the shower to get wet. That kind of thin. So I always had to rely on humor and sarcasm. "

" I think it's a comedian's job to make everything funny. Nothing is off-limits. "

" What's another word for Thesaurus? "

" I'm fascinated with the stories that we tell. Real histories become fantasies and fairy tales, morality tales and fables. There's something interesting and funny and perverse about the way fairytale sometimes passes for history, for truth. "

" I looked on my stomach and saw Frieda Rebecca, white as flour with the cream that covers new babies, funny little dark squiggles of hair plastered over her head, with big, dark-blue eyes. "

" Someone told me that when they go to Vermont, they feel like they're home. I'm that way at Saks. "

" I had no desire to get up onstage and tell jokes. I prefer to stand next to really funny people. "

" If you could cross a lion and a monkey, that's what I'd be, because monkeys are funny and lions are strong. "

" You know the funny thing, I don't get along with rich people. I get along with the middle class and the poor people better than I get along with the rich people. "

" There's something very authentic about humor, when you think about it. Anybody can pretend to be serious. But you can't pretend to be funny. "

" My wife has a slight impediment in her speech. Every now and then she stops to breathe. "

" May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house. "

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" I was flying with my brother, and he challenged me to work out on the airplane. He thought it was funny - and I did it! "

" There is nothing funny about a well-adjusted, intelligent person making the right choices. "

" One man's folly is another man's wife. "

" Fashions have done more harm than revolutions. "

" I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me. "

" We are constantly being surprised that people did things well before we were born. "

Robert Benchley