Home
Authors
Tags
App
Get QuoteDark Inspirational Quotes App
" I never drink water because of the disgusting things that fish do in it. "
Unknown
Drink
Fish
Never
Related Quotes:
" I like being funny; I like laughing with people. "
Kyle
People
Like
Being
" We need two kinds of acquaintances, one to complain to, while to the others we boast. "
Logan Pearsall Smith
Need
Complain
Funny
" I'm going to marry a Jewish woman because I like the idea of getting up Sunday morning and going to the deli. "
Michael J. Fox
Marry
Funny
Up
" 'Hustle' is wonderfully enjoyable because all my life, I've made an effort to be with people who can make me laugh. That original cast - Marc Warren, Jaime Murray, Robert Glenister and Adrian Lester - are all funny. So I know every day I'll have a few good laughs. "
Robert Vaughn
Effort
People
Life
" Forty for you, sixty for me. And equal partners we will be. "
Joan Rivers
Me
Funny
Forty
" I went to private school for a very long time, and we always wore uniforms. Then in third grade, I switched to a public school, so I was so excited to wear what I wanted on the first day. I remember I chose this orange hoodie with a skirt, and it's so funny when I think about it now because my style really hasn't changed that much. "
Keke Palmer
Day
Style
School
" Men are liars. We'll lie about lying if we have to. I'm an algebra liar. I figure two good lies make a positive. "
Tim Allen
Positive
Funny
Good
" We know that the nature of genius is to provide idiots with ideas twenty years later. "
Louis Aragon
Know
Genius
Funny
" Don't talk about yourself; it will be done when you leave. "
Wilson Mizner
Talk
Done
Yourself
" I like children - fried. "
W. C. Fields
Like
Children
Fried
" The funny thing about directing is that you have your own opinions, but it's a collaboration. Directing is a group effort. Even though you might think something works, the smartest thing you can do as a director is try and weigh the opinions of the people around you. "
Chris Evans
People
Funny
Effort
" If you want to be thought a liar, always tell the truth. "
Logan Pearsall Smith
Liar
Thought
Funny
" Being nice can be funny. A lot of my jokes are like, 'Let me take a bad situation and try to put the best spin on it.' "
Ron Funches
Funny
Me
Nice
" I looked on my stomach and saw Frieda Rebecca, white as flour with the cream that covers new babies, funny little dark squiggles of hair plastered over her head, with big, dark-blue eyes. "
Sylvia Plath
Dark
Hair
Eyes
" In comic strips, the person on the left always speaks first. "
George Carlin
First
Person
Left
" Phil Hartman was brilliant, and Dave Foley is a really funny guy. Phil Hartman was actually even funnier offstage than he was onstage because he would say nasty things. Dave Foley's very funny, very witty guy, very quick. "
Joe Rogan
Funny
Brilliant
Guy
" To me, wealth is the peace of mind you have, your family, your friends, your colleagues. Everything else is just money, and it really is funny how people pay so much attention to that. "
Ricardo Salinas Pliego
Family
Money
Peace
" I write what I think is funny and I write from a sense of popping a balloon or a sense of injustice, whether it's about yourself, or whether it's about something else. It's my worldview; it doesn't mean that everybody has to agree with it. "
Denis Leary
Funny
Think
Mean
" The way taxes are, you might as well marry for love. "
Joe E. Lewis
Funny
Taxes
Way
" The IRS! They're like the Mafia, they can take anything they want! "
Jerry Seinfeld
Take
Want
Anything
" Although I have guitars all around, and I pick them up occasionally and write a tune and make a record, I don't really see myself as a musician. It may seem a funny thing to say. It's just like, I write lyrics, and I make up songs, but I'm not a great lyricist or songwriter or producer. It's when you put all these things together - that makes me. "
George Harrison
Me
Funny
Together
" People say funny things all the time during really serious moments in life. "
Mark Ruffalo
People
Time
Say
" Women are like teabags. We don't know our true strength until we are in hot water! "
Unknown
Know
Hot
Strength
" Comedy is surprises, so if you're intending to make somebody laugh and they don't laugh, that's funny. "
Norm MacDonald
Surprises
You
Laugh
" People often can't separate, or can't understand, that to be funny is to be serious; it's a way of pulling people in and not scaring them off. I think a lot of the funny stuff, underneath it, there's a deep anxiety going on. "
Nick Cave
People
Anxiety
Funny
" Most comedy is based on getting a laugh at somebody else's expense. And I find that that's just a form of bullying in a major way. So I want to be an example that you can be funny and be kind, and make people laugh without hurting somebody else's feelings. "
Ellen DeGeneres
Humor
People
Funny
" The only time I ever enjoyed ironing was the day I accidentally got gin in the steam iron. "
Phyllis Diller
Time
Funny
Only
" If my life wasn't funny, it would just be true, and that's unacceptable. "
Carrie Fisher
True
Be True
My Life
" I love to go to Washington - if only to be near my money. "
Bob Hope
Washington
Love
Money
" We're a phenomenally snobby society, and it's such a rich seam. The middle class is so funny: it's the class I know best, and it's the class where you find the most pretension, so that's what makes the middle classes so funny. "
J. K. Rowling
You
Rich
Know