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" All emotion is involuntary when genuine. "

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" Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear, not absence of fear. "

" Work is a necessary evil to be avoided. "

" What is the difference between a taxidermist and a tax collector? The taxidermist takes only your skin. "

" Biographies are but the clothes and buttons of the man. The biography of the man himself cannot be written. "

" A man is never more truthful than when he acknowledges himself a liar. "

" Training is everything. The peach was once a bitter almond; cauliflower is nothing but cabbage with a college education. "

" What a wee little part of a person's life are his acts and his words! His real life is led in his head, and is known to none but himself. "

" Let us make a special effort to stop communicating with each other, so we can have some conversation. "

" Thousands of geniuses live and die undiscovered - either by themselves or by others. "

" Good breeding consists in concealing how much we think of ourselves and how little we think of the other person. "

" There is no distinctly American criminal class - except Congress. "

" There are lies, damned lies and statistics. "

" Golf is a good walk spoiled. "

" Sometimes too much to drink is barely enough. "

" The public is the only critic whose opinion is worth anything at all. "

" Noise proves nothing. Often a hen who has merely laid an egg cackles as if she laid an asteroid. "

" Often it does seem such a pity that Noah and his party did not miss the boat. "

" Patriot: the person who can holler the loudest without knowing what he is hollering about. "

" There is no sadder sight than a young pessimist. "

" When people do not respect us we are sharply offended; yet in his private heart no man much respects himself. "

" There are times when one would like to hang the whole human race, and finish the farce. "

" You can't depend on your eyes when your imagination is out of focus. "

" Soap and education are not as sudden as a massacre, but they are more deadly in the long run. "

" But who prays for Satan? Who, in eighteen centuries, has had the common humanity to pray for the one sinner that needed it most? "

" Denial ain't just a river in Egypt. "

" Action speaks louder than words but not nearly as often. "

" The wit knows that his place is at the tail of a procession. "

" The more things are forbidden, the more popular they become. "

" Truth is mighty and will prevail. There is nothing wrong with this, except that it ain't so. "

" Part of the secret of a success in life is to eat what you like and let the food fight it out inside. "