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" I must have a prodigious quantity of mind; it takes me as much as a week sometimes to make it up. "
Mark Twain
Sometimes
Intelligence
Week
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" Do the right thing. It will gratify some people and astonish the rest. "
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" It is just like man's vanity and impertinence to call an animal dumb because it is dumb to his dull perceptions. "
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" Good friends, good books and a sleepy conscience: this is the ideal life. "
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" Man is the only animal that blushes - or needs to. "
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" I never let schooling interfere with my education. "
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" Truth is mighty and will prevail. There is nothing wrong with this, except that it ain't so. "
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" Why shouldn't truth be stranger than fiction? Fiction, after all, has to make sense. "
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" Optimist: day dreamer more elegantly spelled. "
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" She was not quite what you would call refined. She was not quite what you would call unrefined. She was the kind of person that keeps a parrot. "
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" Whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority, it is time to pause and reflect. "
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" Against the assault of laughter, nothing can stand. "
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" I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it. "
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" Good breeding consists in concealing how much we think of ourselves and how little we think of the other person. "
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" Truth is stranger than fiction, but it is because Fiction is obliged to stick to possibilities; Truth isn't. "
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" He is now rising from affluence to poverty. "
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" A man's character may be learned from the adjectives which he habitually uses in conversation. "
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" Name the greatest of all inventors. Accident. "
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" All emotion is involuntary when genuine. "
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" Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint. "
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" What, sir, would the people of the earth be without woman? They would be scarce, sir, almighty scarce. "
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" It put our energies to sleep and made visionaries of us - dreamers and indolent... It is good to begin life poor; it is good to begin life rich - these are wholesome; but to begin it prospectively rich! The man who has not experienced it cannot imagine the curse of it. "
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" Part of the secret of a success in life is to eat what you like and let the food fight it out inside. "
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" By trying we can easily learn to endure adversity. Another man's, I mean. "
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" When we remember we are all mad, the mysteries disappear and life stands explained. "
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" Denial ain't just a river in Egypt. "
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" Training is everything. The peach was once a bitter almond; cauliflower is nothing but cabbage with a college education. "
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" There are several good protections against temptation, but the surest is cowardice. "
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" The reports of my death have been greatly exaggerated. "
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