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" Never pick a fight with people who buy ink by the barrel. "

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" It is by the goodness of God that in our country we have those three unspeakably precious things: freedom of speech, freedom of conscience, and the prudence never to practice either of them. "

" To be good is noble; but to show others how to be good is nobler and no trouble. "

" Honesty is the best policy - when there is money in it. "

" The only way to keep your health is to eat what you don't want, drink what you don't like, and do what you'd rather not. "

" The man who does not read good books has no advantage over the man who cannot read them. "

" The wit knows that his place is at the tail of a procession. "

" All emotion is involuntary when genuine. "

" The more you explain it, the more I don't understand it. "

" The fear of death follows from the fear of life. A man who lives fully is prepared to die at any time. "

" Whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority, it is time to pause and reflect. "

" Many a small thing has been made large by the right kind of advertising. "

" I was seldom able to see an opportunity until it had ceased to be one. "

" My mother had a great deal of trouble with me, but I think she enjoyed it. "

" The human race is a race of cowards; and I am not only marching in that procession but carrying a banner. "

" Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear, not absence of fear. "

" Never put off till tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow. "

" There are times when one would like to hang the whole human race, and finish the farce. "

" The right word may be effective, but no word was ever as effective as a rightly timed pause. "

" Facts are stubborn, but statistics are more pliable. "

" Ideally a book would have no order to it, and the reader would have to discover his own. "

" How lucky Adam was. He knew when he said a good thing, nobody had said it before. "

" It is better to take what does not belong to you than to let it lie around neglected. "

" The difference between the almost right word and the right word is really a large matter - 'tis the difference between the lightning-bug and the lightning. "

" The very ink with which history is written is merely fluid prejudice. "

" By trying we can easily learn to endure adversity. Another man's, I mean. "

" Be careless in your dress if you must, but keep a tidy soul. "

" The trouble ain't that there is too many fools, but that the lightning ain't distributed right. "

" In the Spring, I have counted 136 different kinds of weather inside of 24 hours. "

" Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don't mind, it doesn't matter. "

" I have been complimented many times and they always embarrass me; I always feel that they have not said enough. "