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" I came face-to-face with a gorilla which was quite good, but it was a 10-hour trek in bad weather, up hills, covered in mud, with mosquitoes everywhere and when we got there the gorilla's just sat there doing nowt. "

Karl Pilkington

Good

Mud

Got

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Karl Pilkington

Money

Nice

" I've learnt that, even though I've travelled about, I haven't changed that much. "

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Karl Pilkington

Together

Marriage

" I don't think I'd be a very good parent. I'd be too honest. "

" Everyone is living for everyone else now. They're doing stuff so they can tell other people about it. I don't get all that social media stuff, I've always got other things I want to do - odd jobs around the house. No one wants to hear about that. "

" I don't know what the future is, but you just do it whilst it's there, don't you? "

" I drive a car, like an adult. Not brilliantly. I'm not great. "

" Chinese people age overnight. "

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" People who live in glass houses... have to answer the door. "

" I sometimes wonder how we're short of cod. There's gonna be a load deep down that are hiding. But it's a good reason to put the price up, and it means a load of people will have haddock. They should tell people they're running out of all sorts. Make 'em panic a bit. "

" All fame is is having people you don't know coming up to you and saying, 'Hello.' I'm always polite and people are always nice, but it's weird. "

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" When you've been on a programme called 'An Idiot Abroad' job offers aren't exactly flying in. "

" I say have the night and give people the awards, but why do people want to watch people win awards? What are they getting out of it? I don't quite get it. Because they have awards all the time; there's awards for butchers, the best meat served, but they don't televise it. I don't know why they do it for films or TV programs. "