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" I drive a car, like an adult. Not brilliantly. I'm not great. "

Karl Pilkington

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" It's like there's some unwritten rule that if you're mates, you can say what you want to each other, and you don't really get that annoyed about it. "

Karl Pilkington

" The reason I did the book about holidays is that you're a different person on holiday. You're sleeping somewhere unfamiliar, knocking about with people you've never met and for 10 days you're someone else. You're out of your comfortable zone. "

Karl Pilkington

" Making the 'An Idiot Abroad' series, I was really dreading going to India; I thought I'd hate it. It was a nightmare, and I was really ill - just like everyone says. "

Karl Pilkington

" If you'd have told me five years ago that I'd have done all this - two books, some television and everything - I'd panic, I'd be scared. "

Karl Pilkington

" To me, a cat is an easy pet, they don't need any spoiling or looking after. "

Karl Pilkington

" It's not a joke: I really do like being at home. "

Karl Pilkington

" The other day I was thinking - because I get a lot of headaches - I was wondering whether the head should be where it is. Because, at the end of the day, it's probably the heaviest part of your body, right? And yet it's at the top as opposed to, I don't, dangling at the bottom somewhere. "

Karl Pilkington

" Comedy's really subjective, you know. "

Karl Pilkington

" I've learnt that, even though I've travelled about, I haven't changed that much. "

Karl Pilkington

" If you're doing the same job every day, there's room for error. "

Karl Pilkington

" They say it all started out with a big bang. But, what I wonder is, was it a big bang or did it just seem big because there wasn't anything else drown it out at the time? "

Karl Pilkington

" I've never understood the 'things to do before you die' idea. If I was ill, I'd be in no mood to have a swim with a dolphin. "

Karl Pilkington

" I love nature - it's probably my most favorite thing. I don't watch much telly, the telly hardly goes on, but the things I do watch are sort of nature programs, and something about the oceans and the amount of weird fish that's in there. "

Karl Pilkington

" And we've got a toaster and everything. So there is no reason for the wedding. "

Karl Pilkington

" For me, a good holiday is about value for money rather than things to see. "

Karl Pilkington

" I found that being with happy positive people annoys me. "

Karl Pilkington

" I'd say the best is when I was in Africa, I saw a hippo in a house. Someone had a pet hippo. And they're meant to be one of the most dangerous animals on the planet, and they had one that was sort of just wandering in and out of their house, just sort of roaming about. "

Karl Pilkington

" It would be spiteful to put a Jellyfish in a trifle. "

Karl Pilkington

" Who'd have thought the Frisbee would have caught on? "

Karl Pilkington

" Everyone is living for everyone else now. They're doing stuff so they can tell other people about it. I don't get all that social media stuff, I've always got other things I want to do - odd jobs around the house. No one wants to hear about that. "

Karl Pilkington

" I came face-to-face with a gorilla which was quite good, but it was a 10-hour trek in bad weather, up hills, covered in mud, with mosquitoes everywhere and when we got there the gorilla's just sat there doing nowt. "

Karl Pilkington

" When I go on holiday and people ask me what I do, I tell them I do some internet stuff and I've done a couple of books and I hope they just leave it at that. "

Karl Pilkington

" Comedy's really subjective, you know; that's why it's so hard. "

Karl Pilkington

" I've never thought about it before, but I suppose bad people might need someone to pray to, too. "

Karl Pilkington

" I'm not that lazy, but I don't need that much money. I lead a fairly simple life. "

Karl Pilkington

" I'm not a proper traveler. I don't like to be challenged or have too much of a change and prefer a week away just to relax. "

Karl Pilkington

" I don't think I'd be a very good parent. I'd be too honest. "

Karl Pilkington

" You know, when you're a producer, you're a bit of a lackey. You're just making cups of tea and making sure they've got newspaper, stuff like that. "

Karl Pilkington

" You can only live to be so old, then you gotta let go. "

Karl Pilkington

" I don't know any Londoners 'cos I'm from Manchester. "

Karl Pilkington