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" I don't know what the future is, but you just do it whilst it's there, don't you? "

Karl Pilkington

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" I don't really go out at night in terms of noisy, busy places; I prefer more of a quiet corner somewhere. "

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" Comedy's really subjective, you know; that's why it's so hard. "

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" People who live in glass houses... have to answer the door. "

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" I think it's mental to pay for water. Where is that water coming from? Are they in the hills puttin' it into bottles when years ago it used to roll down and go into the lakes? "

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" I've never thought about it before, but I suppose bad people might need someone to pray to, too. "

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" I don't know any Londoners 'cos I'm from Manchester. "

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" I drive a car, like an adult. Not brilliantly. I'm not great. "

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" Getting old is better than being young. You can do what you want to do. "

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" We'll all die out eventually. Humans will be gone. And all I'm saying is, when people worry about polar bears disappearing or whatever, it's like, 'Well that's life, things will come and go, we'll find new species.' "

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" I don't know what 'famous' is, really. "

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" For me, a good holiday is about value for money rather than things to see. "

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" If you sit in a bath of pineapple chunks, it can kill you. That's well documented. "

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" I don't watch much telly, the telly hardly goes on, but the things I do watch are sort of nature programs, and something about the oceans and the amount of weird fish that's in there. "

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" It's like there's some unwritten rule that if you're mates, you can say what you want to each other, and you don't really get that annoyed about it. "

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" The poorer people and criminals of Mexico who are not very religious but not quite atheists, either, worship Saint Death. "

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" Being honest with you, it's not the 'great' wall of China. It's an all right wall. It's the 'All Right Wall of China.' "

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" Yesterday, I did some painting then went out to buy an onion and came home and watched 'University Challenge.' The onion was probably the highlight. "

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" People who live in a glass house have to answer the door. "

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" Who'd have thought the Frisbee would have caught on? "

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" They say it all started out with a big bang. But, what I wonder is, was it a big bang or did it just seem big because there wasn't anything else drown it out at the time? "

Karl Pilkington

" I mean, I don't really go out at night in terms of noisy, busy places; I prefer more of a quiet corner somewhere. "

Karl Pilkington

" If you're doing the same job every day, there's room for error. "

Karl Pilkington

" But I'm not an idiot. At the end of the day, I've learned a lot. "

Karl Pilkington