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" I don't give a damn for a man that can only spell a word one way. "

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" Do not tell fish stories where the people know you; but particularly, don't tell them where they know the fish. "

" It were not best that we should all think alike; it is difference of opinion that makes horse races. "

" Sometimes too much to drink is barely enough. "

" Wrinkles should merely indicate where smiles have been. "

" It's not the size of the dog in the fight, it's the size of the fight in the dog. "

" When red-haired people are above a certain social grade their hair is auburn. "

" The fear of death follows from the fear of life. A man who lives fully is prepared to die at any time. "

" In the Spring, I have counted 136 different kinds of weather inside of 24 hours. "

" Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear, not absence of fear. "

" By trying we can easily learn to endure adversity. Another man's, I mean. "

" To refuse awards is another way of accepting them with more noise than is normal. "

" Part of the secret of a success in life is to eat what you like and let the food fight it out inside. "

" I can live for two months on a good compliment. "

" A person with a new idea is a crank until the idea succeeds. "

" I have been complimented many times and they always embarrass me; I always feel that they have not said enough. "

" As an example to others, and not that I care for moderation myself, it has always been my rule never to smoke when asleep, and never to refrain from smoking when awake. "

" When people do not respect us we are sharply offended; yet in his private heart no man much respects himself. "

" Under certain circumstances, urgent circumstances, desperate circumstances, profanity provides a relief denied even to prayer. "

" Whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority, it is time to pause and reflect. "

" I never smoke to excess - that is, I smoke in moderation, only one cigar at a time. "

" Don't go around saying the world owes you a living. The world owes you nothing. It was here first. "

" Denial ain't just a river in Egypt. "

" Work consists of whatever a body is obliged to do. Play consists of whatever a body is not obliged to do. "

" My mother had a great deal of trouble with me, but I think she enjoyed it. "

" It was wonderful to find America, but it would have been more wonderful to miss it. "

" Man will do many things to get himself loved, he will do all things to get himself envied. "

" George Washington, as a boy, was ignorant of the commonest accomplishments of youth. He could not even lie. "

" Noise proves nothing. Often a hen who has merely laid an egg cackles as if she laid an asteroid. "

" Truth is mighty and will prevail. There is nothing wrong with this, except that it ain't so. "