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" I don't write material. Funny things happen to me in the course of a day, and I just make notes. "
Kevin Hart
Funny
Happen
Me
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" Being humble matters. "
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" You know, what's funny to one person is not at all to someone else. "
Steve Carell
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" I think, first of all, I don't think people understand Ice Cube's body of work. Ice Cube is a, and I hate to use the word 'urban' but - when you think of Judd Apatow, and a person who's launched so many careers, Ice Cube has done that for so many comedians, you know? "
Kevin Hart
Think
People
Know
" A lot of newspaper columns used to be written in a rat-a-tat-tat, fast-paced style - and they tended to be funny. They were a little relief from the grimmer, grayer parts of the newspaper, and one of the best people at doing this was Will Rogers. "
P. J. O'Rourke
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" Marriage is a wonderful institution, but who would want to live in an institution? "
H. L. Mencken
Marriage
Funny
Live
" Boy, those French: they have a different word for everything! "
Steve Martin
Word
Funny
Boy
" I was the guy on the swim team entertaining the bus on the way to the meets. "
Kevin Hart
Team
Bus
Entertaining
" All the candy corn that was ever made was made in 1911. "
Lewis Black
Funny
Candy
Corn
" The funny thing is, I'm so used to not caring what anyone says, good or bad, that unfortunately even when people say good things... I wish it made me feel good, but it doesn't. "
Rob Zombie
People
Caring
Funny
" So, where's the Cannes Film Festival being held this year? "
Christina Aguilera
Film
Held
Funny
" If this is coffee, please bring me some tea; but if this is tea, please bring me some coffee. "
Abraham Lincoln
Me
Bring
Coffee
" I buy expensive suits. They just look cheap on me. "
Warren Buffett
Funny
Cheap
Expensive
" Every relationship should eventually become a long-term relationship. Any director that I meet now isn't just a director. He's potentially a friend, and someone I can call to do a project that I want or that I have. "
Kevin Hart
Friend
I Can
Meet
" That's my main flaw: I always think authority figures or my boss is going to think something I do is funny. And usually they don't. "
Jimmy Kimmel
Boss
Always
Think
" I'm very, very amateur, which is funny because I'm not in the amateur leagues. "
Shawn Mendes
Funny
Very
Which
" We're a phenomenally snobby society, and it's such a rich seam. The middle class is so funny: it's the class I know best, and it's the class where you find the most pretension, so that's what makes the middle classes so funny. "
J. K. Rowling
You
Rich
Know
" If you play it straight it's funny - the best comedy is always played straight down the middle. The adjustment is understanding from the screenplay that a moment is hilarious. "
Tom Hiddleston
You
Best
Funny
" It's a funny old world. "
Margaret Thatcher
Old World
World
Old
" If you're going to tell people the truth, be funny or they'll kill you. "
Billy Wilder
Going
Funny
You
" I've done auditions where the casting director is taking the paper out of my hand in the middle of reading. "
Kevin Hart
Done
Hand
Paper
" Two wrongs don't make a right, but they make a good excuse. "
Thomas Szasz
Good
Funny
Make
" I know a dramatic role is going to happen, but you just got to be patient, you know? It's going to happen when it's supposed to happen. I'm not rushing it. I'm not trying to make it happen tomorrow. "
Kevin Hart
You
Tomorrow
Make It Happen
" Why don't you get out of that wet coat and into a dry martini? "
Robert Benchley
Wet
Funny
Martini
" People don't want drama 365 days a year. I'm a sense of relief; it's my job to take your mind off what's bad for that brief second you're in the room with me, regardless of shape, race, colour or anything. It brings people together, and it makes me feel good about what I'm doing. "
Kevin Hart
Good
Together
People
" Food, love, career, and mothers, the four major guilt groups. "
Cathy Guisewite
Love
Guilt
Funny
" And at the time, it is funny how you can look at something and say, for example with my shoulder injury, when it first happened I said this is the worst thing that could happen to me. Why me, why now? Now I look back and say it was probably the best thing that happened to me. "
Drew Brees
Me
Best
Look
" I ain't never called nobody no redskin. I've never been mad, like, 'Get out of this restaurant, you redskin.' "
Kevin Hart
Never
Mad
Out
" I'm for whatever gets you through the night. "
Frank Sinatra
Through
You
Whatever
" It all started when my dog began getting free roll over minutes. "
Jay London
Funny
Roll
Started