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" It all started when my dog began getting free roll over minutes. "
Jay London
Funny
Roll
Started
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" Being funny is one of my greatest strengths. I can make girls smile when they're down, and when they're having a good time, I can carry on the joke. "
John Krasinski
Funny
Down
Time
" Diane Keaton is good for women in and of herself. She's smart and funny and real. "
Gloria Steinem
Women
Funny
Good
" Chaos in the midst of chaos isn't funny, but chaos in the midst of order is. "
Steve Martin
Order
Midst
Funny
" In entertainment, I adore Ricky Gervais in 'Derek.' His performance is unbelievably charming, funny and poignant. In life, I adore my girlfriend. She is the most adorable person I have ever met - from her silly jokes to her cute teeth to her little drawings. "
Josh Zuckerman
Performance
Cute
Funny
" I never drink water because of the disgusting things that fish do in it. "
Unknown
Drink
Fish
Never
" By all means let's be open-minded, but not so open-minded that our brains drop out. "
Richard Dawkins
Out
Funny
Drop
" It's been very funny to try to act like an adult. Even getting dressed. Every day, I'm like, 'Should I wear a blazer and walk around with an umbrella? Do I carry a briefcase?' Because I'm trying to be some image of the adults I saw on TV growing up. "
John Mulaney
Growing Up
Funny
Day
" People say that life is the thing, but I prefer reading. "
Logan Pearsall Smith
Funny
Reading
Say
" Everything is funny, as long as it's happening to somebody else. "
Will Rogers
Funny
Long
Everything
" Why do they call it rush hour when nothing moves? "
Robin Williams
Call
Funny
Moves
" There is a saying that if you get something for free, you should know that you're the product. It was never more true than in the case of Facebook and Gmail and YouTube. You get free social-media services, and you get free funny cat videos. In exchange, you give up the most valuable asset you have, which is your personal data. "
Yuval Noah Harari
Saying
Free
You
" The middle class is so funny, it's the class I know best, and it's the class where you find the most pretension, so that's what makes the middle classes so funny. "
J. K. Rowling
Best
Class
Find
" I would say just start writing. You've got to write every day. Copy someone that you like if you think that perhaps could become your sound, too. I did that with Hemingway, and I thought I was writing just like Hemingway. Then all of a sudden it occurred to me - he didn't have a sense of humor. I don't know anything he's written that's funny. "
Elmore Leonard
Funny
Writing
Humor
" It is funny that men who are supposed to be scientific cannot get themselves to realise the basic principle of physics, that action and reaction are equal and opposite, that when you persecute people you always rouse them to be strong and stronger. "
Gertrude Stein
" What's another word for Thesaurus? "
Steven Wright
Thesaurus
Funny
Another
" They're great girls. They're very funny, they're very smart, they're fun to be with. They're very lively, as I think people can tell. And you know, they're very confident girls. "
Laura Bush
Fun
Great
People
" Fame is a funny thing. I like doing normal things. I like going to fairs. I like going to ball games. I like going to Disney World or a big field on the Fourth of July and having picnics with friends. The problem is you're either worried you're going to be recognized, or you're thankful you're not. It's always there. "
Chris Evans
Friends
Funny
World
" All you can do is really the prep work and make sure you're ready to hit each golf shot. Outside of that, you're not sure really what's going to happen. It's a funny game, but I think that's why I love it. You never know, one day to the next; you could go shoot 62, and the next day you're going to shoot 78, and you can't predict it. "
Rickie Fowler
Day
Work
Think
" I never liked you, and I always will. "
Samuel Goldwyn
Never
You
Will
" My life needs editing. "
Mort Sahl
My Life
Life
Funny
" I was so afraid to even read a paper in front of my classmates. It is very funny because at that point my teachers would never have believed that I could speak in front of an audience of over 2,000 people. "
Petra Nemcova
Speak
Audience
People
" Humor is the oxygen of children's literature. There's a lot of competition for children's time, but even kids who hate to read want to read a funny book. "
Sid Fleischman
Book
Time
Funny
" It's funny: the one time I got star-struck was when I met Snoop Dogg. I gave him a hug and said, 'I love you, man.' "
Mark Foster
I Love You
You
Time
" Every man has a sane spot somewhere. "
Robert Louis Stevenson
Every Man
Funny
Spot
" I'm thankful enough or blessed enough to be able to say that Miles Davis was a friend when he was alive, and he was a wonderful mentor and really, really funny, you know. "
Prince
" I regret behaving badly when I was younger. I did not know any better at the time. The thing is that the incidents that I caused were not funny... Youth is wasted on the young. It is better to have the wisdom of an old man in a young body... I was a bit foolish and teased people, trying to be funny. "
Jim Broadbent
Youth
Time
People
" I don't need you to be funny. I don't want to be entertained. "
Jerry Seinfeld
Need
Entertained
You
" There cannot be a crisis next week. My schedule is already full. "
Henry Kissinger
Funny
Schedule
Week
" You know the funny thing, I don't get along with rich people. I get along with the middle class and the poor people better than I get along with the rich people. "
Donald Trump
Funny
You
Rich
" Its funny, because for females in general - not just in music, but the corporate ladder as well - anything we do has always been harder for us. When it comes to music, the industry wants you to conform, to look like this and to sound like this and do this or that. It makes it harder. It's harder for us to come out and be bosses and lead the pack. "
Missy Elliott
Funny
Look
Ladder