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" So, where's the Cannes Film Festival being held this year? "

Christina Aguilera

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" Marriage is a wonderful institution, but who would want to live in an institution? "

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" There are certain sorts of jokes which have only to do with the substitution of the unexpected word in a familiar context. If you translated something into French and then had it translated back into English by somebody who didn't know the original, you'd lose what was funny. "

" A woman's mind is cleaner than a man's: She changes it more often. "

" I grew up in a funny way. "

" It's funny how it usually works out that I end up dying. It sort of works out, because by the time I die, I'm usually tired of working on that particular movie, so I look forward to it. "

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Christina Aguilera

" If I were to insult people and mean it, that wouldn't be funny. "

" My life needs editing. "

" I have a new philosophy. I'm only going to dread one day at a time. "

Charles M. Schulz

" I'm a funny guy. You've got to be able to make fun of yourself. We only live once. "

" I'm undaunted in my quest to amuse myself by constantly changing my hair. "

Hillary Clinton

" If you're OK with being clumsy, it's funny. But if you are super embarrassed, people are going to laugh at you. "

" Christopher Columbus, as everyone knows, is honored by posterity because he was the last to discover America. "

" I like Ben Stein. I think he's funny, creative, and an insightful commentator on a host of issues. "

" The men I idolized built their bodies and became somebody - like Sylvester Stallone and Arnold Schwarzenegger - and I thought, 'That can be me.' So I started working out. The funny thing is I didn't realize back then that I was having a defining moment. "

" Every time I see an adult on a bicycle, I no longer despair for the future of the human race. "

" The human brain is a funny thing: it's very susceptible to tempo and melody. You put the right words to it, and it becomes very influential. "

" I'll stick to finding the funny in the ordinary because my life is pretty ordinary and so are the lives of my friends - and my friends are hilarious. "

" A government that robs Peter to pay Paul can always depend on the support of Paul. "

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" My father was always a straight-up funny guy. He was silly. He was my inspiration. "

" There's a great power in words, if you don't hitch too many of them together. "

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Generalizations

" What is it in us that makes us feel the need to keep pretending... we gotta let ourselves be. "

Christina Aguilera

" Censorship no longer works by hiding information from you; censorship works by flooding you with immense amounts of misinformation, of irrelevant information, of funny cat videos, until you're just unable to focus. "

Yuval Noah Harari

" It's funny because I've made a living off of words, but words get in the way of what you really want to say. "

" How long was I in the army? Five foot eleven. "