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" I'm not a proper traveler. I don't like to be challenged or have too much of a change and prefer a week away just to relax. "
Karl Pilkington
Change
Like
Relax
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" The other day I was thinking - because I get a lot of headaches - I was wondering whether the head should be where it is. Because, at the end of the day, it's probably the heaviest part of your body, right? And yet it's at the top as opposed to, I don't, dangling at the bottom somewhere. "
Karl Pilkington
Body
Day
End
" I've never won many awards, I didn't get certificates for swimming or anything. "
Karl Pilkington
Won
Anything
Awards
" When I go on holiday and people ask me what I do, I tell them I do some internet stuff and I've done a couple of books and I hope they just leave it at that. "
Karl Pilkington
Holiday
Hope
Internet
" I'm not that lazy, but I don't need that much money. I lead a fairly simple life. "
Karl Pilkington
Simple
Simple Life
Life
" I came face-to-face with a gorilla which was quite good, but it was a 10-hour trek in bad weather, up hills, covered in mud, with mosquitoes everywhere and when we got there the gorilla's just sat there doing nowt. "
Karl Pilkington
Good
Mud
Got
" I don't know what the future is, but you just do it whilst it's there, don't you? "
Karl Pilkington
Future
You
Know
" With evolution, things are always changing, so I sort of think: Should we all be growing three heads? "
Karl Pilkington
Evolution
Always
Three
" That's the problem with having a bald head. It exaggerates the shape. "
Karl Pilkington
Head
Shape
Problem
" If you sit in a bath of pineapple chunks, it can kill you. That's well documented. "
Karl Pilkington
Bath
Documented
Chunks
" Yesterday, I did some painting then went out to buy an onion and came home and watched 'University Challenge.' The onion was probably the highlight. "
Karl Pilkington
Yesterday
Challenge
Painting
" People say if bees die out, the world would end, apparently. Now, I don't know if that's true, if that's some bee enthusiast who managed to write a good document, and people believe this. "
Karl Pilkington
Believe
End
Good
" Chinese people age overnight. "
Karl Pilkington
Age
Chinese
Overnight
" I've learnt that, even though I've travelled about, I haven't changed that much. "
Karl Pilkington
Changed
Much
Even
" I've never worried about life's big questions. "
Karl Pilkington
Questions
Never
Life
" I'm not invited to any exciting parties and my life hasn't really changed. "
Karl Pilkington
Changed
My Life
Life
" A slug is always on its own. It's a lonely insect. "
Karl Pilkington
Slug
Own
Always
" People who live in glass houses... have to answer the door. "
Karl Pilkington
Glass
Who
People
" It's like there's some unwritten rule that if you're mates, you can say what you want to each other, and you don't really get that annoyed about it. "
Karl Pilkington
Annoyed
Say
Some
" I don't know what 'famous' is, really. "
Karl Pilkington
Famous
Know
Really
" You can only live to be so old, then you gotta let go. "
Karl Pilkington
Go
You
Only
" It's not a joke: I really do like being at home. "
Karl Pilkington
Really
Like
Joke
" I don't watch much telly, the telly hardly goes on, but the things I do watch are sort of nature programs, and something about the oceans and the amount of weird fish that's in there. "
Karl Pilkington
Much
Watch
Weird
" Comedy's really subjective, you know. "
Karl Pilkington
Comedy
Know
Really
" But I'm not an idiot. At the end of the day, I've learned a lot. "
Karl Pilkington
Learned
End
Idiot
" I've got loads of nieces and nephews. "
Karl Pilkington
Got
Nieces
Nephews
" At the end of the day, teachers aren't going to mess about trying to make me into an Einstein, 'cause it was never gonna happen. We can't all be brainy, can we? That's just the way the world is. "
Karl Pilkington
End
World
Way
" Everyone is living for everyone else now. They're doing stuff so they can tell other people about it. I don't get all that social media stuff, I've always got other things I want to do - odd jobs around the house. No one wants to hear about that. "
Karl Pilkington
Want
Doing
Media
" I say have the night and give people the awards, but why do people want to watch people win awards? What are they getting out of it? I don't quite get it. Because they have awards all the time; there's awards for butchers, the best meat served, but they don't televise it. I don't know why they do it for films or TV programs. "
Karl Pilkington
Win
Night
Know
" I don't know what I'm meant to do. I'm not important, am I? I'm not doing anything that makes a difference. "
Karl Pilkington
Difference
Doing
Am
" I mean, I don't really go out at night in terms of noisy, busy places; I prefer more of a quiet corner somewhere. "
Karl Pilkington
Places
Night
Busy