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" And we've got a toaster and everything. So there is no reason for the wedding. "
Karl Pilkington
Wedding
Reason
Got
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" Comedy's really subjective, you know; that's why it's so hard. "
Karl Pilkington
You
Why
Comedy
" The reason I did the book about holidays is that you're a different person on holiday. You're sleeping somewhere unfamiliar, knocking about with people you've never met and for 10 days you're someone else. You're out of your comfortable zone. "
Karl Pilkington
People
Holiday
Book
" People always tell me I'm going to regret not having kids. But what if I have one and then I regret having it? Has anyone thought of that option? "
Karl Pilkington
People
Me
Thought
" I don't know any Londoners 'cos I'm from Manchester. "
Karl Pilkington
Manchester
Any
Know
" You know, when you're a producer, you're a bit of a lackey. You're just making cups of tea and making sure they've got newspaper, stuff like that. "
Karl Pilkington
Like
Tea
Know
" I'm not a proper traveler. I don't like to be challenged or have too much of a change and prefer a week away just to relax. "
Karl Pilkington
Change
Like
Relax
" If you're doing the same job every day, there's room for error. "
Karl Pilkington
Same
Doing
Every Day
" It would be spiteful to put a Jellyfish in a trifle. "
Karl Pilkington
Would
Put
Spiteful
" I've never won many awards, I didn't get certificates for swimming or anything. "
Karl Pilkington
Won
Anything
Awards
" Everyone is living for everyone else now. They're doing stuff so they can tell other people about it. I don't get all that social media stuff, I've always got other things I want to do - odd jobs around the house. No one wants to hear about that. "
Karl Pilkington
Want
Doing
Media
" People who live in glass houses... have to answer the door. "
Karl Pilkington
Glass
Who
People
" It's not easy keeping a diary. You have to be pretty committed. "
Karl Pilkington
Diary
You
Pretty
" We should all love animals. "
Karl Pilkington
Animals
Love
Should
" They say it all started out with a big bang. But, what I wonder is, was it a big bang or did it just seem big because there wasn't anything else drown it out at the time? "
Karl Pilkington
Say
Wonder
Started
" I don't watch much telly, the telly hardly goes on, but the things I do watch are sort of nature programs, and something about the oceans and the amount of weird fish that's in there. "
Karl Pilkington
Much
Watch
Weird
" I've never thought about it before, but I suppose bad people might need someone to pray to, too. "
Karl Pilkington
Bad
Thought
People
" I think it's mental to pay for water. Where is that water coming from? Are they in the hills puttin' it into bottles when years ago it used to roll down and go into the lakes? "
Karl Pilkington
Years
Water
Think
" I think it's a problem when something's a dream because it'll never live up to your expectations. It's better to go somewhere thinking it'll be horrible, and then be pleasantly surprised. "
Karl Pilkington
Problem
Thinking
Dream
" All fame is is having people you don't know coming up to you and saying, 'Hello.' I'm always polite and people are always nice, but it's weird. "
Karl Pilkington
Know
Nice
Saying
" I'm not that lazy, but I don't need that much money. I lead a fairly simple life. "
Karl Pilkington
Simple
Simple Life
Life
" I really can't believe what a state the Pyramids are in. I thought they had flat rendered sides, but when you get up close, you see how they are just giant boulders balanced on top of each other, like a massive game of Jenga that has got out of hand. "
Karl Pilkington
Top
See
Game
" I don't know what the future is, but you just do it whilst it's there, don't you? "
Karl Pilkington
Future
You
Know
" With evolution, things are always changing, so I sort of think: Should we all be growing three heads? "
Karl Pilkington
Evolution
Always
Three
" If you sit in a bath of pineapple chunks, it can kill you. That's well documented. "
Karl Pilkington
Bath
Documented
Chunks
" It's like there's some unwritten rule that if you're mates, you can say what you want to each other, and you don't really get that annoyed about it. "
Karl Pilkington
Annoyed
Say
Some
" I'd rather live in a cave with a view of a palace than live in a palace with a view of a cave. "
Karl Pilkington
Live
View
Than
" People who live in a glass house have to answer the door. "
Karl Pilkington
House
Door
Live
" Me mum used to always have the radio on - even now she has it on in every room. Me girlfriend sort of blames that reason for me not doing that well at school - constant noise, really. "
Karl Pilkington
Always
Me
She
" With acting, I didn't get much from it. "
Karl Pilkington
Much
Acting
Get
" I am into nature and seeing whales. I went whale-watching, and I was really looking forward to that, but when you see it on TV and you see other programs do it, you're seeing close-ups of these massive creatures, and the music that's added gives you a certain feeling. "
Karl Pilkington
I Am
Looking
Nature