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" If you'd have told me five years ago that I'd have done all this - two books, some television and everything - I'd panic, I'd be scared. "

Karl Pilkington

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" I'm not that lazy, but I don't need that much money. I lead a fairly simple life. "

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" I've got loads of nieces and nephews. "

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" I'm not invited to any exciting parties and my life hasn't really changed. "

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" I don't really go out at night in terms of noisy, busy places; I prefer more of a quiet corner somewhere. "

Karl Pilkington

" Getting old is better than being young. You can do what you want to do. "

Karl Pilkington

" I was impressed by the Taj Mahal. A good bit of work, well looked after, worth paying money to see. "

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" We should all love animals. "

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" Yesterday, I did some painting then went out to buy an onion and came home and watched 'University Challenge.' The onion was probably the highlight. "

Karl Pilkington

" People who live in glass houses... have to answer the door. "

Karl Pilkington

" People eat duck and you think, well, we've got loads of chickens, leave the ducks alone! "

Karl Pilkington

" I think it's mental to pay for water. Where is that water coming from? Are they in the hills puttin' it into bottles when years ago it used to roll down and go into the lakes? "

Karl Pilkington

" Comedy's really subjective, you know. "

Karl Pilkington

" To me, a cat is an easy pet, they don't need any spoiling or looking after. "

Karl Pilkington

" All fame is is having people you don't know coming up to you and saying, 'Hello.' I'm always polite and people are always nice, but it's weird. "

Karl Pilkington

" I'm not a proper traveler. I don't like to be challenged or have too much of a change and prefer a week away just to relax. "

Karl Pilkington

" The other day I was thinking - because I get a lot of headaches - I was wondering whether the head should be where it is. Because, at the end of the day, it's probably the heaviest part of your body, right? And yet it's at the top as opposed to, I don't, dangling at the bottom somewhere. "

Karl Pilkington

" That's the problem with having a bald head. It exaggerates the shape. "

Karl Pilkington

" I've learnt that, even though I've travelled about, I haven't changed that much. "

Karl Pilkington

" It's like there's some unwritten rule that if you're mates, you can say what you want to each other, and you don't really get that annoyed about it. "

Karl Pilkington

" People who live in a glass house have to answer the door. "

Karl Pilkington

" I don't know what 'famous' is, really. "

Karl Pilkington

" I am into nature and seeing whales. I went whale-watching, and I was really looking forward to that, but when you see it on TV and you see other programs do it, you're seeing close-ups of these massive creatures, and the music that's added gives you a certain feeling. "

Karl Pilkington

" With evolution, things are always changing, so I sort of think: Should we all be growing three heads? "

Karl Pilkington

" I found that being with happy positive people annoys me. "

Karl Pilkington

" I really can't believe what a state the Pyramids are in. I thought they had flat rendered sides, but when you get up close, you see how they are just giant boulders balanced on top of each other, like a massive game of Jenga that has got out of hand. "

Karl Pilkington

" I had a bad experience doing public speaking at school. I had to talk about a pen for five minutes and it was really hard work. I couldn't wait to get off the stage. "

Karl Pilkington

" Parrots have gone a bit quiet since pirates have gone. "

Karl Pilkington

" I drive a car, like an adult. Not brilliantly. I'm not great. "

Karl Pilkington

" Who'd have thought the Frisbee would have caught on? "

Karl Pilkington

" You can only live to be so old, then you gotta let go. "

Karl Pilkington