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" I intend to live forever. So far, so good. "
Steven Wright
Live
Far
Forever
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" I saw a man killed in front of my eyes just before my eighth birthday. "
Peter O'Toole
Eyes
Front
Before
" I think my first album was a gift for my birthday and a Faith Hill album; I loved her. "
Sara Sampaio
Gift
Birthday
Think
" I had Hallowe'en parties every year, as it was my birthday five days before. My parents would actually put prosthetic noses on, and my dad would wear a top-hat and tails, put on a fake curly moustache, and hold a pipe. "
Bat for Lashes
Parents
Fake
Year
" I had a friend who was a clown. When he died, all his friends went to the funeral in one car. "
Steven Wright
Car
He
Funeral
" Nick Swardson used to have birthday paint parties. They were phenomenal. "
Craig Robinson
Used
Birthday
Paint
" I like George Carlin's jokes. I like his humor. He's one of my heroes, and I like what he did with talking about everyday things. "
Steven Wright
Everyday
Talking
Jokes
" In a lot of ways, success is much harder than I thought it would be. I figured that you'd get here and then everything would be happily ever after. But, it's hard work, almost harder once you're successful because you've got to maintain it. "
Steven Wright
Work
Hard Work
Success
" Don't just count your years, make your years count. "
George Meredith
Make
Just
Years
" I like working on my birthday, so I always do. "
Abhishek Bachchan
Always
Working
Birthday
" I watched the Indy 500, and I was thinking that if they left earlier they wouldn't have to go so fast. "
Steven Wright
Watched
Indy
Left
" My first proper kiss was from Cara Shucksmith when I was 13 or 14 at her birthday party. "
Robert Webb
Kiss
Her
Birthday
" I'm really not the party type. I more like to have friends over at the house and chill. I've never been the super party type. But for the 18th birthday, you got to party. And then 21 is going to be even bigger. "
Jacob Latimore
You
Chill
Birthday
" Having a Mary Poppins-themed birthday party when I was 5 - all my friends went in dresses, and I went as a chimney sweep. I was a real tomboy. "
Poppy Delevingne
Party
Friends
Birthday
" I was trying to daydream, but my mind kept wandering. "
Steven Wright
Kept
Mind
Daydream
" Every night, I was read to. Every Friday, we were taken to the library. I always received at least one book for my birthday. I have a few of them yet. Early on, I had my own collection of books. I loved to read. Still do. "
Avi
Birthday
Book
Friday
" It was a big pleasure to play a Grand Slam match on my birthday. "
Dominic Thiem
Match
Pleasure
Big
" It's very interesting, the joke comes first and then the wording comes within five seconds, maybe ten seconds. My thing is to get the joke across in as few words as possible. However, sometimes a word that's not really needed does help the rhythm of it. It's a gut feeling. "
Steven Wright
Joke
Interesting
Help
" I have all the emotions that everyone has; it just appears that I don't. "
Steven Wright
Appears
Emotions
Everyone
" A 1920s dress I wore on my 21st birthday... literally disintegrated on me. I had the most wild debauched night. And that disintegrated dress sits in my closet - such a great memory. "
Liz Goldwyn
Memory
Great
Night
" My mother asked me what I wanted for my birthday, so I said I wanted to read poetry with her. "
Guy Johnson
Birthday
Said
Poetry
" I went to a general store. They wouldn't let me buy anything specifically. "
Steven Wright
Anything
Buy
General
" Last night I stayed up late playing poker with Tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died. "
Steven Wright
Night
Last
Cards
" If you saw a heat wave, would you wave back? "
Steven Wright
Wave
Heat
You
" In 1980, shortly before my 11th birthday, I wrote my first essay in English. "
Pankaj Mishra
Birthday
Before
Essay
" To the audience, it's like I'm changing the subject every five seconds, but to me, my show's almost like a 90-minute song that I know exactly. I wrote every note, and I know exactly where everything is. "
Steven Wright
Know
Audience
Everything
" I don't know what that is because to me, Feb. 14 is Rob Thomas' birthday, and that's only what I acknowledge it as. I just like to celebrate that as Rob Thomas' birthday. "
Nikki Glaser
Like
Me
Know
" I'm writing an unauthorized autobiography. "
Steven Wright
Writing
Autobiography
" Last year I went fishing with Salvador Dali. He was using a dotted line. He caught every other fish. "
Steven Wright
Caught
Year
Line
" It is lovely, when I forget all birthdays, including my own, to find that somebody remembers me. "
Ellen Glasgow
Own
My Own
Birthday
" You know, maybe I was just born in the wrong time, but I love all things romantic. Puffy understands that. For my last birthday, he covered my hotel room floor with rose petals and had flowers and candles all over the room. "
Jennifer Lopez
Flowers
Birthday
Time