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" I was a vegetarian until I started leaning toward the sunlight. "

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" Back in the '70s, like one of my favorite movies ever was 'The Bad News Bears', and that was a kids' movie, but I don't think of it that way. I think of it as just a great movie because Walter Matthau was so funny and so harsh with those kids. "

" The funny thing about the people I don't like - they're very self-centered. "

" Yield to temptation. It may not pass your way again. "

Robert A. Heinlein

" It's not so much what you learn about Mumbai, it's what you learn about yourself, really. It's a funny old hippie thing, but it's true as well. You find out a lot about yourself and your tolerance, and about your inclusiveness. "

" I went window shopping today! I bought four windows. "

" Some people say funny things, but I say things funny. "

" I am certain there is too much certainty in the world. "

Michael Crichton

" I've thought for the last decade or so, the only actual place raw truth was seeping through in newspapers was on the Comics Pages. They were able to pull off intelligent social comment, pure truths not found elsewhere in the news pages, and had the ability to make it all funny, entertaining, and pertinent. "

" I'm not a person who likes authority. I just love the fact that it's up to me, and I go straight to the audience. "

" You know, what's funny to one person is not at all to someone else. "

" Inappropriateness is funny to me. Rudeness is hilarious. "

Zach Galifianakis

" You win a race, the next race it's a question mark. Are you still the best or not? That's what is funny. But that's what is interesting. And that's what is challenging. You have to prove yourself every time. "

Michael Schumacher

" I write funny. If I can make my wife laugh, I know I'm on the right track. But yes, I don't like to get Maudlin. And I have a tendency towards it. "

" Don't talk about yourself; it will be done when you leave. "

" Everybody I know who is funny, it's in them. You can teach timing, or some people are able to tell a joke, though I don't like to tell jokes. But I think you have to be born with a sense of humor and a sense of timing. "

" I think that I come off as, 'Nothing bothers me, I don't care! I'm funny and sassy.' But I'm deeply sensitive. Not only about myself but to others. Not to pat myself on the back, empathy is a quality I've cultivated over my life. It came naturally to me as a child. "

" It's funny, because there are so many stereotypes out there about actors and movie stars in general, but I've had a great opportunity to meet a lot of them, and maybe it's just because they don't behave that way around me, but I rarely see that kind of abuse of power. "

" I distrust camels, and anyone else who can go a week without a drink. "

" Fame is a funny thing. I like doing normal things. I like going to fairs. I like going to ball games. I like going to Disney World or a big field on the Fourth of July and having picnics with friends. The problem is you're either worried you're going to be recognized, or you're thankful you're not. It's always there. "

" I used to write out of angst. My writing was quite miserable, quite angry, even when it was funny. It was based on this sadness and tired emotional disdain for the world. "

" Be stupid, be dumb, be funny, if that's who you are. Don't try to be someone that society wants you to be; that's stupid. So be yourself. "

Christina Grimmie

" If you could kick the person in the pants responsible for most of your trouble, you wouldn't sit for a month. "

Theodore Roosevelt

" It's so funny because I listen to songs that I recorded that I didn't really know anything about at the time. Later on I'm starting to feel the songs. Sing them first, feel them later. "

" Me carrying a briefcase is like a hotdog wearing earrings. "

Sparky Anderson

" If at first you don't succeed, find out if the loser gets anything. "

William Lyon Phelps

" But I think Kiss Kiss, Bang Bang really got that thing where, if a movie reads really funny and then has some dramatic or violent or sinister stuff in it, you can't forget that primarily it has to be even funnier than you read it or that other stuff doesn't work. "

Robert Downey, Jr.

" There is a saying that if you get something for free, you should know that you're the product. It was never more true than in the case of Facebook and Gmail and YouTube. You get free social-media services, and you get free funny cat videos. In exchange, you give up the most valuable asset you have, which is your personal data. "

Yuval Noah Harari

" Here is my prescription to heal all wounds. Watch the film 'Funny Girl' at least five times, eat at least 45 chocolate bars, and hang out with all those friends you blew off to hang out with your ex. I truly believe that, through a combination of Nutella, old pals and Barbra Streisand, we can achieve happiness and, very probably, world peace. "

" I went out with seven actors in a row. There are problems with that. I've had the really good-looking dramatic actor, and that has its problems. And then I'll go out with the funny guy. It's almost like the funny guy has more to prove. "

Jennifer Coolidge

" I always wanted to be somebody, but now I realize I should have been more specific. "