Get QuoteDark Inspirational Quotes App

" If you could kick the person in the pants responsible for most of your trouble, you wouldn't sit for a month. "

Theodore Roosevelt

Related Quotes:

" Cleanliness becomes more important when godliness is unlikely. "

" Communism is like one big phone company. "

" My hope is that we can spread the word: Wonder Woman is not some unapproachable goddess. She's funny, dangerous, intimidating, brilliant, and compassionate. In many ways, I think she's the most human superheroine there is. "

" A cultural thing that is funny to me is that every time I go out in D.C. after a show, all the nightclubs and restaurants are owned by Iranians and Afghans. It's funny to me how we lost our countries but we gained the nightlife. "

" I am built funny. Picture Mark Twain's head on Ichabod Crane's body. Now hold your mental picture to the light and crumple it. "

" Although I have guitars all around, and I pick them up occasionally and write a tune and make a record, I don't really see myself as a musician. It may seem a funny thing to say. It's just like, I write lyrics, and I make up songs, but I'm not a great lyricist or songwriter or producer. It's when you put all these things together - that makes me. "

George Harrison

" The most exciting phrase to hear in science, the one that heralds new discoveries, is not 'Eureka!' but 'That's funny...' "

" There is nothing in the world that I loathe more than group activity, that communal bath where the hairy and slippery mix in a multiplication of mediocrity. "

Vladimir Nabokov

" If love is the answer, could you please rephrase the question? "

" I'll stick to finding the funny in the ordinary because my life is pretty ordinary and so are the lives of my friends - and my friends are hilarious. "

" My fake plants died because I did not pretend to water them. "

" I think we're all good and bad, but good's not funny. Bad is funny. Suppress the good and let the bad out, and then you can be funny. "

" Everything that used to be a sin is now a disease. "

" I don't need you to be funny. I don't want to be entertained. "

" I was born in very sorry circumstances. Both of my parents were very sorry. "

" Who included me among the ranks of the human race? "

" Now a 'funnyman' can get a laugh before opening his mouth - looking funny. Lou Costello was one of your great funnymen. Harry Langdon, Larry Semon; they were all funnymen - they looked funny. W.C. Fields was never a comedian. Slim Summerville was a comedian, yet looked funny. Now if you have both attributes, you are in good shape. "

" Chaos in the midst of chaos isn't funny, but chaos in the midst of order is. "

" There are a lot of really funny guys who are very natural in what they do: Jonah Hill, Michael Cera, Seth Rogen. "

" I love mankind; it's people I can't stand. "

Charles M. Schulz

" There's nothing cure or funny or lovable about being cheap. It's a total turn-off. "

Douglas Coupland

" If there is not the war, you don't get the great general; if there is not a great occasion, you don't get a great statesman; if Lincoln had lived in a time of peace, no one would have known his name. "

Theodore Roosevelt

" I love to go to Washington - if only to be near my money. "

" But it's funny that now I'm in such a happy situation, I look more objectively at my own past and see what others have seen for a long time and I'm just so glad I've been able to get to this point. "

" I think I knew I was funny in Elementary School. I think most funny people realize it when they're young. It tends to come out of stress or trauma - something that makes you want to be funny. "

" It's a funny thing, the less people have to live for, the less nerve they have to risk losing nothing. "

Zora Neale Hurston

" No man has a good enough memory to be a successful liar. "

Abraham Lincoln

" I went out with seven actors in a row. There are problems with that. I've had the really good-looking dramatic actor, and that has its problems. And then I'll go out with the funny guy. It's almost like the funny guy has more to prove. "

Jennifer Coolidge

" There is nothing funny about Halloween. This sarcastic festival reflects, rather, an infernal demand for revenge by children on the adult world. "

Jean Baudrillard

" The American people abhor a vacuum. "

Theodore Roosevelt