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" If I were two-faced, would I be wearing this one? "

Abraham Lincoln

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" It's not so much what you learn about Mumbai, it's what you learn about yourself, really. It's a funny old hippie thing, but it's true as well. You find out a lot about yourself and your tolerance, and about your inclusiveness. "

" Funny things happen to you in movies for silly reasons. "

" Public sentiment is everything. With public sentiment, nothing can fail. Without it, nothing can succeed. "

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" I used to sell furniture for a living. The trouble was, it was my own. "

" Our defense is in the preservation of the spirit which prizes liberty as a heritage of all men, in all lands, everywhere. Destroy this spirit and you have planted the seeds of despotism around your own doors. "

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" A government that robs Peter to pay Paul can always depend on the support of Paul. "

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" I do not think I could myself be brought to support a man for office whom I knew to be an open enemy of, and scoffer at, religion. "

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" Whether slavery shall go into Nebraska, or other new territories, is not a matter of exclusive concern to the people who may go there. The whole nation is interested that the best use shall be made of these territories. We want them for the homes of free white people. "

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" I think anyone who has, you know, is in any sort of artistic pursuit, kind of goes up and down with the way they feel about their work. And I, for the most part, am pretty happy person. But, yeah. I go through definite periods of time where I'm not funny. I'm not good. I'm - I don't feel original. "

" To give victory to the right, not bloody bullets, but peaceful ballots only, are necessary. "

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" I did 'Love's Labour's Lost' in the theater and found it to be riotously funny. "

Kenneth Branagh

" My mother was against me being an actress - until I introduced her to Frank Sinatra. "

Angie Dickinson

" What kills a skunk is the publicity it gives itself. "

Abraham Lincoln

" Although I have guitars all around, and I pick them up occasionally and write a tune and make a record, I don't really see myself as a musician. It may seem a funny thing to say. It's just like, I write lyrics, and I make up songs, but I'm not a great lyricist or songwriter or producer. It's when you put all these things together - that makes me. "

George Harrison

" I don't write material. Funny things happen to me in the course of a day, and I just make notes. "

" Most comedy is based on getting a laugh at somebody else's expense. And I find that that's just a form of bullying in a major way. So I want to be an example that you can be funny and be kind, and make people laugh without hurting somebody else's feelings. "

Ellen DeGeneres

" I'm blonde and tanned and normal-sized! I'm sweet, shy, funny, have a big heart and I'm nice - and I like to eat. "

" Things have to be funny first, and if they want to have a point, that's awesome. "

" We find ourselves under the government of a system of political institutions, conducing more essentially to the ends of civil and religious liberty, than any of which the history of former times tells us. "

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" Communism is like one big phone company. "

" Be thankful we're not getting all the government we're paying for. "

" A woman's mind is cleaner than a man's: She changes it more often. "

" Surely God would not have created such a being as man, with an ability to grasp the infinite, to exist only for a day! No, no, man was made for immortality. "

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" Scenes change all the time. Scenes will change while you're shooting them, and you just have to roll with it 'cause that's what makes it funny. It's not being stuck in your character and how you're gonna do something, but to react to other people and to really have a real-life conversation. "

" A word to the wise is infuriating. "

Hunter S. Thompson

" Comedy is simply a funny way of being serious. "

" I don't deserve this award, but I have arthritis and I don't deserve that either. "

" Thinking is one thing no one has ever been able to tax. "

Charles Kettering

" Some day I shall be President. "

Abraham Lincoln

" May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house. "