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" A word to the wise is infuriating. "

Hunter S. Thompson

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" Filming is a funny combination of having a good time and not being able to wait until it's over. "

Nicole Holofcener

Having A Good Time

" I failed to make the chess team because of my height. "

" I wouldn't totally rule out doing Letterman or the Tonight Show if I had a set that I just happened to write that I thought was funny but was still appropriate for network censors. But I'm not going to go out of my way. "

" Leave America and you'll find that the consumers in many other countries enjoy watching advertising. Not because the products are better, but because the ads are produced to be entertaining. Sometimes they are funny. Sometimes they are dramatic. Sometimes they are just beautiful. "

" Because death and illness are the most horrible things in life, of course that's where the most absurdly funny things are going to happen. "

" No man has a good enough memory to be a successful liar. "

Abraham Lincoln

" There's a rule of writing: if everything is funny, nothing is funny; if everything is sad, nothing is sad. You want that contrast. "

J. Michael Straczynski

" Yesterday's weirdness is tomorrow's reason why. "

Hunter S. Thompson

" It's hard to lead a cavalry charge if you think you look funny on a horse. "

Adlai E. Stevenson

" It's funny; recently I've started to notice people's impersonations of me, and it's basically like a hyperactive child. "

" Until I was about 14, I was a fat boy, or at least I looked like a fat boy. I think that being funny was a bit of a defence mechanism for me, so I ended up being a bit of a joker. "

" What I am looking for is a blessing not in disguise. "

Jerome K. Jerome

" It's funny what a few no-hitters do for a body. "

" It's funny: When I first heard they were thinking of me for the president in 'Independence Day,' I just assumed it was a comedy - I didn't exactly think of myself as leader-of-the-free-world material. "

" The way taxes are, you might as well marry for love. "

" I'm very silly as a person, but quality silliness on-screen has more of an art to it. Harrison Ford, whom I was in 'Morning Glory' with, has mastered that dry funny better than anyone. "

" I'm undaunted in my quest to amuse myself by constantly changing my hair. "

Hillary Clinton

" Being funny is everything to me. "

" Censorship no longer works by hiding information from you; censorship works by flooding you with immense amounts of misinformation, of irrelevant information, of funny cat videos, until you're just unable to focus. "

Yuval Noah Harari

" When you're out of sight for as long as I was, there's a funny feeling of betrayal that comes over people when they see you again. "

Esther Williams

" I love practical jokes and humor. That there's frankly no joke that I don't think is funny. I love practical jokes, but I don't like being scared. "

" 'Bridesmaids,' I think, opened up a door to allow women to show a bunch of different women in different ways of being funny. It was kind of like an arrival moment. "

" You know it's funny that none of the regular late-night shows now use guest hosts the way Johnny did. No one talks about it much, but it's curious that they don't do it. They would each have to be asked the reason why they don't. "

Garry Shandling

" They say marriages are made in Heaven. But so is thunder and lightning. "

" By all means let's be open-minded, but not so open-minded that our brains drop out. "

Richard Dawkins

" Freedom is something that dies unless it's used. "

Hunter S. Thompson

" Forty for you, sixty for me. And equal partners we will be. "

" Frisbeetarianism is the belief that when you die, your soul goes up on the roof and gets stuck. "

" I like bowling. I suck at it, but I like it. You know what's so funny? I have days when I'm absolutely great at doing it, and then I have days when I just don't understand it. "

" I have found that people who really want to work at 'Saturday Night Live' and pursue it get pretty close. You have to be funny - but everyone who works there, it was their dream to work there. So it's kind of nice in that way - there's a lot of people who say, 'I just always wanted to do this, and now I'm doing it.' "