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" When ignorance gets started it knows no bounds. "

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" Things ain't what they used to be and never were. "

" The only difference between death and taxes is that death doesn't get worse every time Congress meets. "

" Too many people spend money they haven't earned to buy things they don't want to impress people they don't like. "

" A difference of opinion is what makes horse racing and missionaries. "

" People's minds are changed through observation and not through argument. "

" America is becoming so educated that ignorance will be a novelty. I will belong to the select few. "

" There is no more independence in politics than there is in jail. "

" Don't gamble; take all your savings and buy some good stock and hold it till it goes up, then sell it. If it don't go up, don't buy it. "

" One Ad is worth more to a paper than forty Editorials. "

" Get someone else to blow your horn and the sound will carry twice as far. "

" The more that learn to read the less learn how to make a living. That's one thing about a little education. It spoils you for actual work. The more you know the more you think somebody owes you a living. "

" Our constitution protects aliens, drunks and U.S. Senators. "

" The only way you can beat the lawyers is to die with nothing. "

" Communism to me is one-third practice and two-thirds explanation. "

" A man only learns in two ways, one by reading, and the other by association with smarter people. "

" About all I can say for the United States Senate is that it opens with a prayer and closes with an investigation. "

" I belong to no organized party. I am a Democrat. "

" If the other fellow sells cheaper than you, it is called dumping. 'Course, if you sell cheaper than him, that's mass production. "

" The man with the best job in the country is the vice-president. All he has to do is get up every morning and say, 'How is the president?' "

" Prohibition is better than no liquor at all. "

" Liberty doesn't work as well in practice as it does in speeches. "

" I have a scheme for stopping war. It's this - no nation is allowed to enter a war till they have paid for the last one. "

" Make crime pay. Become a lawyer. "

" Things in our country run in spite of government, not by aid of it. "

" An onion can make people cry but there's never been a vegetable that can make people laugh. "

" Do the best you can, and don't take life too serious. "

" America is a nation that conceives many odd inventions for getting somewhere but it can think of nothing to do once it gets there. "

" If you want to be successful, it's just this simple. Know what you are doing. Love what you are doing. And believe in what you are doing. "

" The income tax has made liars out of more Americans than golf. "