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" It's hard to lead a cavalry charge if you think you look funny on a horse. "

Adlai E. Stevenson

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" If I studied all my life, I couldn't think up half the number of funny things passed in one session of congress. "

" Some people say funny things, but I say things funny. "

" All generalizations are false, including this one. "

Generalizations

" By all means let's be open-minded, but not so open-minded that our brains drop out. "

Richard Dawkins

" The human race has improved everything, but the human race. "

Adlai E. Stevenson

" They say marriages are made in Heaven. But so is thunder and lightning. "

" My favourite comedian, of course, is Tim Conway. He has a way about him - being that belly-laugh kind of funny, and he has the improvisational skills, too. I've never seen anybody better. "

" I think my funny books are my favorites because I like to laugh so much. "

" Most comedy is based on getting a laugh at somebody else's expense. And I find that that's just a form of bullying in a major way. So I want to be an example that you can be funny and be kind, and make people laugh without hurting somebody else's feelings. "

Ellen DeGeneres

" My favorite type of pet has always been a dog. They're loyal, kind, and offer endless affection. My friend Eric says, 'The more people I meet, the more I like my dog.' Funny thought. "

" So, where's the Cannes Film Festival being held this year? "

Christina Aguilera

" I looked on my stomach and saw Frieda Rebecca, white as flour with the cream that covers new babies, funny little dark squiggles of hair plastered over her head, with big, dark-blue eyes. "

" You can lead a man to Congress, but you can't make him think. "

" I read a funny story about how the Republicans freed the slaves. The Republicans are the ones who created slavery by law in the 1600's. Abraham Lincoln freed the slaves and he was not a Republican. "

" I'm screamingly funny, you know, I really am in the books. And that helps because I'm funnier than a lot of people, I think, and that's appreciated by young people. "

" Men are only as loyal as their options. "

" I own and operate a ferocious ego. "

" Progress was all right. Only it went on too long. "

" Lana Turner was adorable and funny. Jimmy Stewart was such a nice person. I quickly realized that if you're not a nice person, you're not going to last in this business. I mean, once your box office starts to drop off, like Veronica Lake, they'll get rid of you fast. "

" I had the classic 40 meltdown. I did. It's embarrassing. It was pretty funny. But then I recovered. To me, it was like a second adolescence. Hormonally, my body was changing, my mind was changing, and so my relationship to myself and the world around me came to this assault of finiteness. "

" An optimist is a fellow who believes a housefly is looking for a way to get out. "

George Jean Nathan

" Never take a solemn oath. People think you mean it. "

" Cure for an obsession: get another one. "

" On this shrunken globe, men can no longer live as strangers. "

Adlai E. Stevenson

" It's so funny how social media was just this fun thing, and now it's this monster that consumes so many millennial lives. "

" Unless someone wants to look funny, I'll not recommend anyone to copy my bowling action. But on a serious note, with the confidence that I have got from the amount of runs I have been scoring, when I'm thrown the ball to bowl, I am pretty sure of what I have to do. I may not be the most attractive to watch while bowling, but I can be effective. "

" What I like about the jokes, to me it's a lot of logic, no matter how crazy they are. It has to make absolute sense, or it won't be funny. "

" If God wanted us to fly, He would have given us tickets. "

" Everybody complains about getting older, but I find it such a rich time of life. There are negative things about it, I suppose, but more than that, I'm finding it to be a very positive experience in which growth suggests itself in a much more alluring way than it did when I was young - isn't that funny? "

" I'm not saying that I'm on some crusade to change people's minds. I'm just doing what I do. I'm a comedian, I'm trying to be funny... I think when they see a comedy show with an Iranian and an Egyptian and two Palestinians, I think they go, 'Oh wow, these guys are just like us.' "