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" I looked on my stomach and saw Frieda Rebecca, white as flour with the cream that covers new babies, funny little dark squiggles of hair plastered over her head, with big, dark-blue eyes. "

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" I definitely started to perform a little bit in middle school, but not the typical musical/play route. I think that I am funny, but it was more of a social thing, where that was my part in my circle of friends. "

Abbi Jacobson

School

Think

Friends

" Television has brought back murder into the home - where it belongs. "

" I cannot sing, dance or act; what else would I be but a talk show host. "

" People forget how outcast 'They Might Be Giants' can be. They have a reputation for writing really deft, funny, clever melodies, and they also make a lot of music for kids, which is terrific, but when you see them in concert, they can rock the house. "

" Mother believed that I should have an enormous amount of sleep, and so I was never really tired when I went to bed. This was the best time of day, when I could lie in the vague twilight, drifting off to sleep, making up dreams inside my head the way they should go. "

" A pessimist is a person who has had to listen to too many optimists. "

" The funny thing is, all my friends are short. I wasn't aware of tall people till I got to high school. I didn't know they existed. I was sheltered. "

" I consider that a man's brain originally is like a little empty attic, and you have to stock it with such furniture as you choose. "

" I love the funny and sweet moments I have with my cats, Jake and Frank, so I'm honored to be celebrating these moments at the Catdance Film Festival. "

Hannah Simone

" I hate housework! You make the beds, you do the dishes and six months later you have to start all over again. "

" Men are only as loyal as their options. "

" If at first you don't succeed, blame your parents. "

" People say that life is the thing, but I prefer reading. "

" If I were two-faced, would I be wearing this one? "

" All men are equal before fish. "

" I was asked to act when I couldn't act. I was asked to sing 'Funny Face' when I couldn't sing, and dance with Fred Astaire when I couldn't dance - and do all kinds of things I wasn't prepared for. Then I tried like mad to cope with it. "

Audrey Hepburn

Dance

Face

" Macho does not prove mucho. "

" I'm going to take this God-given gift of being funny, and I'm going to spread it out like peanut butter on everything I do. "

" I love mankind; it's people I can't stand. "

" I talk to God but the sky is empty. "

" My definition of an intellectual is someone who can listen to the William Tell Overture without thinking of the Lone Ranger. "

" I used to jog but the ice cubes kept falling out of my glass. "

" Reality continues to ruin my life. "

" Life is funny, and a lot of times, the people that I've met have really gone past anything that I've ever dreamed of, so I'm really grateful. My friendships really go from the West to the East. You'd be amazed at some of the people I call friends. "

" But I really like hosting, I think it's a strength of mine. It allows me to improvise, and I love the spontaneity of that, and I think I'm funny behind the desk when interviewing someone. "

" Don't talk about yourself; it will be done when you leave. "

" I have never been hurt by what I have not said. "

" Do not let a flattering woman coax and wheedle you and deceive you; she is after your barn. "

" Life can be dramatic and funny all in the same day. "

" Funny you mention my dinner parties when I have just suggested that inviting close friends over to share a meal with candlelight and wine at your table could be a form of religious experience for some people. To me it's a form of sacrament. "