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" If I studied all my life, I couldn't think up half the number of funny things passed in one session of congress. "

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" Last year we said, 'Things can't go on like this', and they didn't, they got worse. "

" I'm not that good looking. That's why 'Gangnam Style' works. If someone handsome uses that phrase it's just awkward. But if someone like me uses it, it's funny. "

" People naturally want to retweet and engage on super funny videos and memes. "

" The difference between a Republican and a Democrat is the Democrat is a cannibal they have to live off each other, while the Republicans, why, they live off the Democrats. "

" When you're doing a medieval show like 'Pillars,' it starts off a bit like a school play. You're all in funny costumes; you've had your coffee, and you say, 'Good morning'. Then you go on set and, if you've got good actors and directors, it takes on a life of its own. "

" Life is funny, and a lot of times, the people that I've met have really gone past anything that I've ever dreamed of, so I'm really grateful. My friendships really go from the West to the East. You'd be amazed at some of the people I call friends. "

" Christopher Columbus, as everyone knows, is honored by posterity because he was the last to discover America. "

" An idea isn't responsible for the people who believe in it. "

" When it comes down to it, glam rock was all very amusing. At the time, it was funny, then a few years later it became sort of serious-looking and a bit foreboding. "

" I don't have a caustic sense of humor. What I find funny, that humor comes from a much gentler place. "

" There is nothing funny about a well-adjusted, intelligent person making the right choices. "

" My parents, grandparents, aunts and uncles were all funny, and I felt that energy, that delivery, that timing, that sarcasm. All that stuff seeped into my brain. "

" We adore babies because they're so cute. And, of course, we are amused by jokes because they are funny. This is all backwards. It is. And Darwin shows us why. "

" I don't mean to be funny. "

" Things in our country run in spite of government, not by aid of it. "

" Viral videos aren't just about being funny. They're about identity creation. "

" It is even harder for the average ape to believe that he has descended from man. "

" I'd say Jon Stewart has remained funny the entire time. Jon always makes it funny first. And he's just, he's talking about serious things, but in a funny way. Other comedians will talk about serious things in a serious way, and then you don't know what's going on. "

" There's nothing wrong with being shallow as long as you're insightful about it. "

" It's such a funny thing when you see your daughter transitioning from your baby, your little girl, to suddenly being a young woman. If you're not really looking for it, you can miss it, and Lily-Rose is on that road already, and there's nothing I can do to stop it. "

" I like being funny; I like laughing with people. "

" When I was a boy the Dead Sea was only sick. "

" Do you know, it's funny, but I never thought of being blind as a disadvantage, and I never thought of being black as a disadvantage. "

" Often, joking for me is a way of diffusing the awkwardness of a situation, so it's kind of exhilarating to be a part of projects where there's nothing funny or lighthearted. "

" I've always surrounded myself with funny people. "

" It is a scientific fact that your body will not absorb cholesterol if you take it from another person's plate. "

" I went window shopping today! I bought four windows. "

" Frisbeetarianism is the belief that when you die, your soul goes up on the roof and gets stuck. "

" To all the girls out there who think being funny is not sexy, you are wrong! "

Chad Michael Murray

" The more you observe politics, the more you've got to admit that each party is worse than the other. "