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" I think my funny books are my favorites because I like to laugh so much. "

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" I wanted to be clever, but being funny came first. That's how you know someone is clever. They don't come out and tell you pi to 13 places - they tell you a joke. "

" Just telling the facts are no longer enough. You now have to be persuasive, charismatic, interesting, and funny. Just telling people things isn't enough anymore. "

Milo Yiannopoulos

" What do I know of man's destiny? I could tell you more about radishes. "

" I'd luv to kiss ya, but I just washed my hair. "

" As a comedian, I don't know if they're laughing because it's funny or if they're laughing at me because I'm not funny. And I'm thinking, 'Who cares? They're laughing.' If you go on stage, and they're laughing at you full-on for 60 minutes? You know, whatever puts them in the seats. "

Larry the Cable Guy

" I'm fascinated with the stories that we tell. Real histories become fantasies and fairy tales, morality tales and fables. There's something interesting and funny and perverse about the way fairytale sometimes passes for history, for truth. "

" One of the disadvantages of wine is that it makes a man mistake words for thoughts. "

" Never fight an inanimate object. "

" Children are smarter than any of us. Know how I know that? I don't know one child with a full time job and children. "

" Personally, I feel like I'm trying to redefine what a really good rapper can be like. Like, I think it's not often where a good rapper can be making funny music. "

" I have a wonderful make-up crew. They're the same people restoring the Statue of Liberty. "

" I sang in the choir for years, even though my family belonged to another church. "

" One man's folly is another man's wife. "

" Everybody I know who is funny, it's in them. You can teach timing, or some people are able to tell a joke, though I don't like to tell jokes. But I think you have to be born with a sense of humor and a sense of timing. "

" I love comedians that dive into politics. I personally don't feel comfortable, with my background, weighing in unless I have a take that I think is funny enough that I would put it in front of an audience. "

" I'm a funny person, but I take my music seriously. "

" The funny thing is, all my friends are short. I wasn't aware of tall people till I got to high school. I didn't know they existed. I was sheltered. "

" The funny thing is, I'm so used to not caring what anyone says, good or bad, that unfortunately even when people say good things... I wish it made me feel good, but it doesn't. "

" I can always get better. A lot of my ex-girlfriends don't think I'm funny. "

" If you don't mind, it doesn't matter. "

" The great thing for me about 'The Resurrection of Gavin Stone' is it's a throwback to the old fashioned Hollywood movie that you can watch with your family, has a message, and is funny and entertaining. They didn't call them faith-based movies; they just called them good movies. "

" Everyone has at least one story, and each of us is funny if we admit it. You have to admit you're the funniest person you've ever heard of. "

" My mother is very funny. She is from a village; she has a typical village kind of humour. Often she says a lot of things she herself isn't aware is a punch line. "

" Don't talk about yourself; it will be done when you leave. "

" Chaos in the midst of chaos isn't funny, but chaos in the midst of order is. "

" I'm an optimist, but an optimist who carries a raincoat. "

" I'm a misplaced American, but don't know where I was misplaced. "

" Between two evils, I always pick the one I never tried before. "

" Every man's dream is to be able to sink into the arms of a woman without also falling into her hands. "

" Scenes change all the time. Scenes will change while you're shooting them, and you just have to roll with it 'cause that's what makes it funny. It's not being stuck in your character and how you're gonna do something, but to react to other people and to really have a real-life conversation. "