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" A committee is a group that keeps minutes and loses hours. "

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" I'm a classic example of all humorists - only funny when I'm working. "

" A man's got to take a lot of punishment to write a really funny book. "

Ernest Hemingway

" I discovered that funny animal pictures - memes - would get a lot of likes and shares. "

" Everything is funny, as long as it's happening to somebody else. "

" Often, joking for me is a way of diffusing the awkwardness of a situation, so it's kind of exhilarating to be a part of projects where there's nothing funny or lighthearted. "

" Me carrying a briefcase is like a hotdog wearing earrings. "

Sparky Anderson

" The fascination of shooting as a sport depends almost wholly on whether you are at the right or wrong end of the gun. "

P. G. Wodehouse

" I think being funny is not anyone's first choice. "

" I am certain there is too much certainty in the world. "

Michael Crichton

" I had the classic 40 meltdown. I did. It's embarrassing. It was pretty funny. But then I recovered. To me, it was like a second adolescence. Hormonally, my body was changing, my mind was changing, and so my relationship to myself and the world around me came to this assault of finiteness. "

" There's something very authentic about humor, when you think about it. Anybody can pretend to be serious. But you can't pretend to be funny. "

" When I was in improv workshops or doing stand-up or writing comedy with others, or just doing comedy, I just laughed. Funny was funny; I loved to laugh. I always liked people I found generally funny. "

" I've always surrounded myself with funny people. "

" Life would be tragic if it weren't funny. "

Stephen Hawking

" It's a funny thing that when a man hasn't anything on earth to worry about, he goes off and gets married. "

" If you want to be thought a liar, always tell the truth. "

Logan Pearsall Smith

" I was always good at being observationally funny - like, contributing something funny to the conversation. "

" If my mother hadn't laughed at the funny things I did, I probably wouldn't be a comic actor. After she had her first heart attack, the doctor said, 'Try to make her laugh.' And that was the first time I tried to make anyone laugh. "

" Inappropriateness is funny to me. Rudeness is hilarious. "

Zach Galifianakis

" It's a funny thing: my name in Arabic means hope, so I suppose I have to live by that principle. Hope is desire, feeling, and investing in a projection of something that doesn't yet exist. At its best, you witness its alchemy in your life, turning something that was once in the mind into reality. At its worst, it's delusion. "

" It's a funny old world. "

Margaret Thatcher

" I don't have a bank account because I don't know my mother's maiden name. "

Paula Poundstone

" The comedians I liked were Bill Cosby and Steven Wright, like just always as a comedic actor. I always liked Gary Larson, who's really funny for a cartoonist, obviously. "

" I have yet to hear a man ask for advice on how to combine marriage and a career. "

" Phil Hartman was brilliant, and Dave Foley is a really funny guy. Phil Hartman was actually even funnier offstage than he was onstage because he would say nasty things. Dave Foley's very funny, very witty guy, very quick. "

" It's funny because I've made a living off of words, but words get in the way of what you really want to say. "

" I wanted to be that quirky girl who writes funny songs that still have meaning. "

" I think you figure out how to be funny by necessity. It's not a natural thing, being funny in the face of tragedy is kind of demented. "

" My mother was a nurse, and in her era, most diseases weren't understood; people put mustard plasters on knees and rubbed camphor on your chest if you had a cough and did funny things to you if you had tuberculosis - all these things that really made very little difference once proper treatments were brought in. "

" I don't believe in angels, no. But I do have a wee parking angel. It's on my dashboard and you wind it up. The wings flap and it's supposed to give you a parking space. It's worked so far. "