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" I always believe that funny is serious and serious is funny. You don't really need a distinction between them. "

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" A committee is a group that keeps minutes and loses hours. "

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" Comedy is simply a funny way of being serious. "

" I've never been to a dinner party where everyone at the dinner table didn't say something funny. "

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Alfred Hitchcock

" If you don't mind, it doesn't matter. "

" It's funny because I've made a living off of words, but words get in the way of what you really want to say. "

" The parrot's so funny. He imitates me and I don't even realize he's doing it. I'm walking around the house talking to myself and whistling and the next day he's said something I've said... it's scary you know? "

" Everybody talks about the weather, but nobody does anything about it. "

Charles Dudley Warner

" A lot of newspaper columns used to be written in a rat-a-tat-tat, fast-paced style - and they tended to be funny. They were a little relief from the grimmer, grayer parts of the newspaper, and one of the best people at doing this was Will Rogers. "

" I like the anonymity, the fact that you're a stranger making strangers laugh. You aren't forcing them to laugh - it's involuntary, and that's when they give the most honest response. "

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" Maybe it's because I come from a very utopian world of being a comedian, but I'm used to many live comedy performances going on in any city I'm in, and each of us is trying to be the best at what we do. I don't think of it as a competition so much as a thriving comedy economy. "

" We get angry about the small things sometimes, I feel, so that we feel like we're doing something, so that we don't have to tackle the big things. And it's fine; let people do that. But I'm not gonna now change because of that. You know? Like, the worst thing that happens to me is you don't like me. And then what? "

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