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" Buy land. They ain't making any more of the stuff. "

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" One Ad is worth more to a paper than forty Editorials. "

" Anything important is never left to the vote of the people. We only get to vote on some man; we never get to vote on what he is to do. "

" This country has come to feel the same when Congress is in session as when the baby gets hold of a hammer. "

" Never let yesterday use up too much of today. "

" Half our life is spent trying to find something to do with the time we have rushed through life trying to save. "

" The difference between a Republican and a Democrat is the Democrat is a cannibal they have to live off each other, while the Republicans, why, they live off the Democrats. "

" Be thankful we're not getting all the government we're paying for. "

" The more that learn to read the less learn how to make a living. That's one thing about a little education. It spoils you for actual work. The more you know the more you think somebody owes you a living. "

" Being a hero is about the shortest-lived profession on earth. "

" If the other fellow sells cheaper than you, it is called dumping. 'Course, if you sell cheaper than him, that's mass production. "

" The farmer has to be an optimist or he wouldn't still be a farmer. "

" I don't make jokes. I just watch the government and report the facts. "

" The only difference between death and taxes is that death doesn't get worse every time Congress meets. "

" If Stupidity got us into this mess, then why can't it get us out? "

" Diplomats are just as essential to starting a war as soldiers are for finishing it... You take diplomacy out of war, and the thing would fall flat in a week. "

" I guess there is nothing that will get your mind off everything like golf. I have never been depressed enough to take up the game, but they say you get so sore at yourself you forget to hate your enemies. "

" Worrying is like paying on a debt that may never come due. "

" Live in such a way that you would not be ashamed to sell your parrot to the town gossip. "

" If advertisers spent the same amount of money on improving their products as they do on advertising then they wouldn't have to advertise them. "

" Even if you're on the right track, you'll get run over if you just sit there. "

" A remark generally hurts in proportion to its truth. "

" Ancient Rome declined because it had a Senate, now what's going to happen to us with both a House and a Senate? "

" Ohio claims they are due a president as they haven't had one since Taft. Look at the United States, they have not had one since Lincoln. "

" Good judgment comes from experience, and a lot of that comes from bad judgment. "

" Alexander Hamilton started the U.S. Treasury with nothing, and that was the closest our country has ever been to being even. "

" The worst thing that happens to you may be the best thing for you if you don't let it get the best of you. "

" In Hollywood you can see things at night that are fast enough to be in the Olympics in the day time. "

" Liberty doesn't work as well in practice as it does in speeches. "

" An ignorant person is one who doesn't know what you have just found out. "

" When the Oakies left Oklahoma and moved to California, it raised the I.Q. of both states. "