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" Let advertisers spend the same amount of money improving their product that they do on advertising and they wouldn't have to advertise it. "

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" America is a nation that conceives many odd inventions for getting somewhere but it can think of nothing to do once it gets there. "

" I guess there is nothing that will get your mind off everything like golf. I have never been depressed enough to take up the game, but they say you get so sore at yourself you forget to hate your enemies. "

" Even if you're on the right track, you'll get run over if you just sit there. "

" On account of being a democracy and run by the people, we are the only nation in the world that has to keep a government four years, no matter what it does. "

" Everything is funny, as long as it's happening to somebody else. "

" The United States never lost a war or won a conference. "

" Ancient Rome declined because it had a Senate, now what's going to happen to us with both a House and a Senate? "

" The more you observe politics, the more you've got to admit that each party is worse than the other. "

" If I studied all my life, I couldn't think up half the number of funny things passed in one session of congress. "

" There are three kinds of men. The one that learns by reading. The few who learn by observation. The rest of them have to pee on the electric fence for themselves. "

" Make crime pay. Become a lawyer. "

" This thing of being a hero, about the main thing to it is to know when to die. "

" One-third of the people in the United States promote, while the other two-thirds provide. "

" Worrying is like paying on a debt that may never come due. "

" Half our life is spent trying to find something to do with the time we have rushed through life trying to save. "

" Do the best you can, and don't take life too serious. "

" I never expected to see the day when girls would get sunburned in the places they now do. "

" The 1928 Republican Convention opened with a prayer. If the Lord can see His way clear to bless the Republican Party the way it's been carrying on, then the rest of us ought to get it without even asking. "

" People who fly into a rage always make a bad landing. "

" It's not what you pay a man, but what he costs you that counts. "

" There is nothing so stupid as the educated man if you get him off the thing he was educated in. "

" Never let yesterday use up too much of today. "

" What the country needs is dirtier fingernails and cleaner minds. "

" A difference of opinion is what makes horse racing and missionaries. "

" We don't seem to be able to check crime, so why not legalize it and then tax it out of business? "

" A fool and his money are soon elected. "

" Communism to me is one-third practice and two-thirds explanation. "

" You can't say civilization don't advance... in every war they kill you in a new way. "

" The income tax has made liars out of more Americans than golf. "

" Liberty doesn't work as well in practice as it does in speeches. "