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" In Hollywood the woods are full of people that learned to write but evidently can't read. If they could read their stuff, they'd stop writing. "
Will Rogers
Writing
People
Hollywood
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" The man with the best job in the country is the vice-president. All he has to do is get up every morning and say, 'How is the president?' "
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" Liberty doesn't work as well in practice as it does in speeches. "
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Liberty
Well
" Why don't they pass a constitutional amendment prohibiting anybody from learning anything? If it works as well as prohibition did, in five years Americans would be the smartest race of people on Earth. "
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Earth
Learning
" Democrats never agree on anything, that's why they're Democrats. If they agreed with each other, they would be Republicans. "
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" We will never have true civilization until we have learned to recognize the rights of others. "
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" I read about eight newspapers in a day. When I'm in a town with only one newspaper, I read it eight times. "
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" I'm not a real movie star. I've still got the same wife I started out with twenty-eight years ago. "
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Star
Started
Wife
" If Stupidity got us into this mess, then why can't it get us out? "
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Why
Got
Mess
" Things ain't what they used to be and never were. "
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Never
Used
Were
" Everybody is ignorant, only on different subjects. "
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Education
Different
Only
" When the Oakies left Oklahoma and moved to California, it raised the I.Q. of both states. "
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Left
Both
California
" When you put down the good things you ought to have done, and leave out the bad ones you did do well, that's Memoirs. "
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You
Good
Down
" Half our life is spent trying to find something to do with the time we have rushed through life trying to save. "
Will Rogers
Trying
Time
Life
" Let advertisers spend the same amount of money improving their product that they do on advertising and they wouldn't have to advertise it. "
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Money
Improving
Advertising
" The only way you can beat the lawyers is to die with nothing. "
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Lawyers
Die
You
" The fellow that can only see a week ahead is always the popular fellow, for he is looking with the crowd. But the one that can see years ahead, he has a telescope but he can't make anybody believe that he has it. "
Will Rogers
Always
Ahead
Week
" The more that learn to read the less learn how to make a living. That's one thing about a little education. It spoils you for actual work. The more you know the more you think somebody owes you a living. "
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Education
You
Work
" It's not what you pay a man, but what he costs you that counts. "
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You
He
Costs
" The movies are the only business where you can go out front and applaud yourself. "
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You
Business
Go
" The United States never lost a war or won a conference. "
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Conference
War
United
" America is becoming so educated that ignorance will be a novelty. I will belong to the select few. "
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America
Education
Ignorance
" Alexander Hamilton started the U.S. Treasury with nothing, and that was the closest our country has ever been to being even. "
Will Rogers
Nothing
Country
Been
" It isn't what we don't know that gives us trouble, it's what we know that ain't so. "
Will Rogers
Gives
Us
Know
" Anything important is never left to the vote of the people. We only get to vote on some man; we never get to vote on what he is to do. "
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Important
Never
People
" There's only one thing that can kill the movies, and that's education. "
Will Rogers
Only
Movies
One Thing
" A difference of opinion is what makes horse racing and missionaries. "
Will Rogers
Horse
Opinion
Difference
" Get someone else to blow your horn and the sound will carry twice as far. "
Will Rogers
Far
Carry
Someone
" There ought to be one day - just one - when there is open season on senators. "
Will Rogers
Just
Season
Ought
" Buy land. They ain't making any more of the stuff. "
Will Rogers
Making
Stuff
Land
" Chaotic action is preferable to orderly inaction. "
Will Rogers
Chaotic
Orderly
Action