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" One may no more live in the world without picking up the moral prejudices of the world than one will be able to go to hell without perspiring. "
H. L. Mencken
Live
Hell
Will
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" A prohibitionist is the sort of man one couldn't care to drink with, even if he drank. "
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" Democracy is only a dream: it should be put in the same category as Arcadia, Santa Claus, and Heaven. "
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" Before a man speaks it is always safe to assume that he is a fool. After he speaks, it is seldom necessary to assume it. "
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" If women believed in their husbands they would be a good deal happier and also a good deal more foolish. "
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" I go on working for the same reason that a hen goes on laying eggs. "
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" Democracy is a pathetic belief in the collective wisdom of individual ignorance. "
H. L. Mencken
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" Morality is the theory that every human act must be either right or wrong, and that 99 % of them are wrong. "
H. L. Mencken
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" Criticism is prejudice made plausible. "
H. L. Mencken
Prejudice
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" Nobody ever went broke underestimating the taste of the American public. "
H. L. Mencken
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American
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" Life is a dead-end street. "
H. L. Mencken
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" Love is an emotion that is based on an opinion of women that is impossible for those who have had any experience with them. "
H. L. Mencken
Women
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" Man is always looking for someone to boast to; woman is always looking for a shoulder to put her head on. "
H. L. Mencken
Woman
Always
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" There are men so philosophical that they can see humor in their own toothaches. But there has never lived a man so philosophical that he could see the toothache in his own humor. "
H. L. Mencken
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Never
" The chief value of money lies in the fact that one lives in a world in which it is overestimated. "
H. L. Mencken
World
Fact
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" The one permanent emotion of the inferior man is fear - fear of the unknown, the complex, the inexplicable. What he wants above everything else is safety. "
H. L. Mencken
Fear
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Unknown
" I never lecture, not because I am shy or a bad speaker, but simply because I detest the sort of people who go to lectures and don't want to meet them. "
H. L. Mencken
Bad
Want
Shy
" Whenever a husband and wife begin to discuss their marriage they are giving evidence at a coroner's inquest. "
H. L. Mencken
Marriage
Giving
Husband
" Love is like war: easy to begin but very hard to stop. "
H. L. Mencken
Stop
Love Is
War
" To be in love is merely to be in a state of perceptual anesthesia - to mistake an ordinary young woman for a goddess. "
H. L. Mencken
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Goddess
Love
" I never smoked a cigarette until I was nine. "
H. L. Mencken
Until
Smoked
Nine
" Love is the triumph of imagination over intelligence. "
H. L. Mencken
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Intelligence
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" Every decent man is ashamed of the government he lives under. "
H. L. Mencken
Government
Ashamed
Man
" If a politician found he had cannibals among his constituents, he would promise them missionaries for dinner. "
H. L. Mencken
Promise
Politician
He
" Puritanism. The haunting fear that someone, somewhere, may be happy. "
H. L. Mencken
Fear
Be Happy
Someone
" On some great and glorious day the plain folks of the land will reach their heart's desire at last, and the White House will be adorned by a downright moron. "
H. L. Mencken
Reach
White
Heart
" Most people want security in this world, not liberty. "
H. L. Mencken
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People
Liberty
" When women kiss it always reminds one of prize fighters shaking hands. "
H. L. Mencken
Hands
Women
Always
" One of the most mawkish of human delusions is the notion that friendship should be eternal, or, at all events, life-long, and that any act which puts a term to it is somehow discreditable. "
H. L. Mencken
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Human
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" Platitude: an idea (a) that is admitted to be true by everyone, and (b) that is not true. "
H. L. Mencken
Admitted
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" War will never cease until babies begin to come into the world with larger cerebrums and smaller adrenal glands. "
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World
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Begin