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" Democracy is only a dream: it should be put in the same category as Arcadia, Santa Claus, and Heaven. "

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" Let's not burn the universities yet. After all, the damage they do might be worse. "

" War will never cease until babies begin to come into the world with larger cerebrums and smaller adrenal glands. "

" Women always excel men in that sort of wisdom which comes from experience. To be a woman is in itself a terrible experience. "

" For every complex problem there is an answer that is clear, simple, and wrong. "

" An idealist is one who, on noticing that roses smell better than a cabbage, concludes that it will also make better soup. "

" Legend: A lie that has attained the dignity of age. "

" Adultery is the application of democracy to love. "

" Theology is the effort to explain the unknowable in terms of the not worth knowing. "

" On some great and glorious day the plain folks of the land will reach their heart's desire at last, and the White House will be adorned by a downright moron. "

" For it is mutual trust, even more than mutual interest that holds human associations together. Our friends seldom profit us but they make us feel safe. Marriage is a scheme to accomplish exactly that same end. "

" Faith may be defined briefly as an illogical belief in the occurrence of the improbable. "

" Marriage is a wonderful institution, but who would want to live in an institution? "

" It is not materialism that is the chief curse of the world, as pastors teach, but idealism. Men get into trouble by taking their visions and hallucinations too seriously. "

" A Sunday school is a prison in which children do penance for the evil conscience of their parents. "

" It doesn't take a majority to make a rebellion; it takes only a few determined leaders and a sound cause. "

" A society made up of individuals who were all capable of original thought would probably be unendurable. "

" Archbishop - A Christian ecclesiastic of a rank superior to that attained by Christ. "

" The cynics are right nine times out of ten. "

" Nobody ever went broke underestimating the taste of the American public. "

" Every man sees in his relatives, and especially in his cousins, a series of grotesque caricatures of himself. "

" Democracy is a pathetic belief in the collective wisdom of individual ignorance. "

" The most dangerous man to any government is the man who is able to think things out... without regard to the prevailing superstitions and taboos. Almost inevitably he comes to the conclusion that the government he lives under is dishonest, insane, intolerable. "

" Every man is his own hell. "

" Temptation is a woman's weapon and man's excuse. "

" Every election is a sort of advance auction sale of stolen goods. "

" A judge is a law student who marks his own examination papers. "

" A good politician is quite as unthinkable as an honest burglar. "

" Life is a dead-end street. "

" What men value in this world is not rights but privileges. "