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" She was a handsome woman of forty-five and would remain so for many years. "

J. B. Priestley

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" Because death and illness are the most horrible things in life, of course that's where the most absurdly funny things are going to happen. "

" I sang in the choir for years, even though my family belonged to another church. "

" I'm screamingly funny, you know, I really am in the books. And that helps because I'm funnier than a lot of people, I think, and that's appreciated by young people. "

" I went to private school for a very long time, and we always wore uniforms. Then in third grade, I switched to a public school, so I was so excited to wear what I wanted on the first day. I remember I chose this orange hoodie with a skirt, and it's so funny when I think about it now because my style really hasn't changed that much. "

" I don't have a bank account because I don't know my mother's maiden name. "

Paula Poundstone

" You win a race, the next race it's a question mark. Are you still the best or not? That's what is funny. But that's what is interesting. And that's what is challenging. You have to prove yourself every time. "

Michael Schumacher

" As for our majority... one is enough. "

Benjamin Disraeli

" Being a humorist is not a voluntary thing. You can tell this because in a situation where saying a funny thing will cause a lot of trouble, a humorist will still say the funny thing. No matter how inappropriate. "

" Why do they call it rush hour when nothing moves? "

" I'm funny. I'm a comedian. I'm not a clown. "

" It takes considerable knowledge just to realize the extent of your own ignorance. "

" I am interested in shows that are not out-and-out gag fests: you see the truth of a broken heart behind them. That is what life is like: it's really funny, you see funny things as soon as you step out of the room, but underneath that is a whole bag of broken hearts. It's that real pain and that real hilarity that makes life so intriguing. "

" What do I know of man's destiny? I could tell you more about radishes. "

" It is to be observed that 'angling' is the name given to fishing by people who can't fish. "

Stephen Leacock

" I love fools' experiments. I am always making them. "

" I never liked you, and I always will. "

" Things that I feel really sad about, I talk about. That way, if it's funny, it doesn't hurt anymore. "

" Chris Hemsworth is like Christopher Reeve in that he can do two things: he can wear a big red cape without a shred of self-consciousness. But he's also funny as hell, and he's so sweet. So with all the fish-out-of-water stuff, he's so funny. So he does almost two jobs in a way. "

" If you could cross a lion and a monkey, that's what I'd be, because monkeys are funny and lions are strong. "

" Why do you have to be a nonconformist like everybody else? "

" My mother was against me being an actress - until I introduced her to Frank Sinatra. "

Angie Dickinson

" I basically started performing for my mother, going, 'Love me!' What drives you to perform is the need for that primal connection. When I was little, my mother was funny with me, and I started to be charming and funny for her, and I learned that by being entertaining, you make a connection with another person. "

" The parrot's so funny. He imitates me and I don't even realize he's doing it. I'm walking around the house talking to myself and whistling and the next day he's said something I've said... it's scary you know? "

" I know only two words of American slang, 'swell' and 'lousy'. I think 'swell' is lousy, but 'lousy' is swell. "

J. B. Priestley

" My eyes are different sizes, my nose is too broad at the bridge and squishes up when I laugh, and my lips are sorta funny when I smile. "

" Being funny is everything to me. "

" It's not so much what you learn about Mumbai, it's what you learn about yourself, really. It's a funny old hippie thing, but it's true as well. You find out a lot about yourself and your tolerance, and about your inclusiveness. "

" I have an unfortunate personality. "

" I have a wonderful make-up crew. They're the same people restoring the Statue of Liberty. "

" I've always found it easier to be funny than to be serious. "